Love or to be Loved: Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

“Sometimes, we find a temporary

replacement to fulfill a hollowness

inside our hearts.”

I was planting flowers in the flowerbed, my uniform was already soaked in mud. “Sakuya!!!” Voices called. I stared up from my work to see Dae and the others. A smile washed over my face, we sat together under the tree peacefully. “Here’s some rice cakes, tea and kimchi. Ah, we also learned how to do hip-hop dancing today.” Dae cheered and motioned to Yeun-Ja and Chun-Ja. The three girls performed the basics of hip-hop dancing and some simple moves. The three of them have been coming to see each day for months. They always brought food, updates and new dance styles to share. I don’t think that I could ever repay them; however, Soon-Yi never came even once.

After they finished performing, I applauded happily and hesitated for a moment. I had been holding myself back from asking the question that had been bugging me for so long. Today, was the day I decided to ask the question, “how is Kim Seonsaong doing?” I asked. Dae exchanged glances with the others, I studied them each closely, Yeun-Ja was the first to speak. “He  has been spending a lot of time with Soon-Yi these months.” She said cautiously. The words ached my heart; however, not as much as it used to a few months ago. I didn’t know if that was good or bad, Dae shoved roughly at Yeun-Ja. “Nevermind that come on Sakuya, let’s practice together.” She cheered and pulled me onto my feet.

Chang-Su was filing his drawers in his office, Soon-Yi came in and placed a cup of tea on the desk. “Have some tea.” She offered. He turned to her but didn’t bother to meet her gaze, “thank you.” He answered. Jae-Hwa came storming in without knocking and turned to Soon-Yi, “get out of here!” He snapped at her. Change-Su lowered the file he was holding and glared at Jae-Hwa, Soon-Yi managed to offer a sneer. “Of course–Jae-Hwa.” She said in a mocking tone and pushed past him. Jae-Hwa banged the door shut and turned to Chang-Su with a serious expression.

“I will ask like I’ve asked these past months. What are you planning to do with Sakuya? You haven’t given her a direct reply and treating Soon-Yi like your wife. You are really selfish.” Jae-Hwa said calmly. Chang-Su held up a tiny box, Jae-Hwa crossed his arms in irritation, “what is that?” He spat. “I plan to give this one to the one I love.” He answered. Jae-Hwa’s eyes flickered on the box, “I hope you make the correct choice.” Jae-Hwa muttered and walked off. Chang-Su leaned against his desk and make a speed dial. I frowned and pulled out my cell, my eyes lingered on the number. A number I had missed for so long, hesitating for a moment, I finally answered. “Yes?” I asked calmly. Chang-Su felt his chest tightening, “meet at the park, two blocks away tonight at 7 PM.” He said and hung up.

He didn’t wait for an answer, he desperately wanted to see her and tell her, his true feelings. How rude can he be? I slipped my phone away and sat down on the stairs, Jae-Hwa stared out at her sadly. “Sakuya, you finally got what you were waiting for.” He muttered. I didn’t want to go; however, I suppose this day would’ve come either way. I caught a taxi and headed for the park, Chang-Su stood outside the park eagerly. He watched the maehwa petals float through the darkened skies peacefully and hopefully. I got out of the taxi and stared over at Chang-Su’s back.

“Next year, when the maehwa tree blossoms,

I will take you to see them.”

Echoed Chang-Su’s voice. I still remember that promise so well, snapping into reality, I cleared my throat. He turned to me, “Sakuya.” He said and held out a hand to her. I stared at his hand and took it slowly with hesitance. He led me into the park and turned to her, “remember the promise from last year?” He asked. I gave a brief nod, we walked through the park slowly. The scent, the petals, the moon, the dark sky and crickets chirping, it was similar to a painting. Suddenly, he turned to me, I was caught off guard and backed away slightly. “Sakuya–I’ve decided  already, marry me.” He said, pulling out the box and held open the lid.

Inside was a pair of beautiful rings, I was stiff from shock! He pulled out t he  ring and held it up to me, “we can get married right here without any interruptions.” He said. My body and  heart was torn, part of me wanted to say yes and the other half was screaming that I can’t. He smiled and reached for my hand, without realizing it, I pulled away roughly and knocked the ring out of sight. Chang-Su stared at me in surprise, I raised my gaze to his slowly. I saw his face was full of shock and disbelief, he broke into an innocent smile. “Did I scare you? You don’t have to wear it right now.” He said. I shook my head frantically, “no, it’s not that, I don’t want to marry you. I don’t have that feeling for you anymore. You have Soon-Yi now, you can’t come to me like this. Regardless of whether Soon-Yi treated me as a friend or not. I will never forget, when no one would be my friend, it was her–who stood there with an outstretched hand.” I said in a calm voice.

He stared at her in awed silence, I glanced back at him uneasily, “are these your true words?” He asked. I felt my heart acing badly, what his father said to me in the past still haunted me. I had to know my place, I was in a different world than him. There was no possible way that we could last, that was our difference. No matter how hard we struggle to keep our hands entwined, they were destined to be torn apart, if not by heaven then by mankind. I had finally thought it through and understood the unchangeable fate.

My job was to graduate and finish my degree. Nothing else mattered. Chang-Su was holding me by the shoulders, I snapped back into reality, “yes, those are my true thoughts and words.” I said coldly. His grip loosened at once on my shoulders, he shook his head and backed away. I wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t do  it. A voice suddenly aroused from behind him,  “Chang-Su Oppa.” Came Soon-Yi’s voice. We both turned and stared at her in shock, she smirked at me in pleasure. Chang-Su turned to me, “goodbye then, Sakuya-Ssi. I hope you a happy time at the school.” He said and threw the box into the darkness of the trees.

My mouth fell open in shock, Chang-Su gave me a sneer, “do come to our wedding, when you can–” He teased and turned walking over to Soon-Yi. “Let us go.” He said and pulled her off. I was silent, the world was collapsing onto my body, I fell on the pavement and cried. My heart felt as if it was going to explode, I burst into tears. A hand rested on my shoulder, I stared up at Jae-Hwa in depression and distress. “Why are you here?” I asked. “I’m here on a date with Dae, are you alright?” He asked. I wiped my face with my hands and nodded in silence, he pursed his lips and pulled her onto her feet.

“Thank you, sorry for bothering you. Goodbye.” I said and walked off without a back glance. Jae-Hwa stared after her in solitude, “Jae-Hwa?” Dae called, looking around. He turned and headed back towards Dae’s voice, he never stopped loving Sakuya; however, he had Dae now and couldn’t do anything to change that. He wondered if he and Chang-Su both agreed to be with Soon-Yi and Dae because they wanted to fulfill a hollowness in their hearts. I would never stop loving Chang-Su, even if we couldn’t be together. I would continue loving him, seeing him from afar was truly enough for me. I would endure all the pain on my own, I didn’t know what would happen in the future. Only that I wanted everyone to be happy.

Love or to be Loved: Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

“The battles and troubles brew,

a storm is coming and no one can avoid it.”

The plane landed in the airport a little after 12, Chang-Su turned to me happily, “are you glad to be back?” He asked. I hesitated for a moment and only managed to grunted an “Mmhmmm.” He grabbed me by the shoulders in unrest, “what’s wrong?” He asked. I had to use all of my strength to keep myself from crying. I forced myself to stare up at his gaze, “just tired from the plane ride, I am so sleepy.” I said breathlessly. He wrapped an around me, “I see! Alright, let’s get back to the school then, thank goodness its the weekend.” He said. I gave a stiffened nod, I fell asleep on the drive home, he stared over at her and grinned, stopping before the gates. Not wanting to wake her, he carried her in his arms and walked towards the dorms.

Dae sipped hot coco on the couch as the doors banged open. She never choked on the liquid and stared over at Chang-Su and Sakuya, “Kim Seonsaong?! Sakuya?!” She exclaimed. “Pardon the intrusion.” He grunted and headed up the stairs. Soon-Yi stood on the second floor landing in awkward silence, it looked as if she wanted to rip Chang-Su to shreds. He reached the landing and stared at Soon-Yi with a blank gaze, Soon-Yi’s gaze dropped onto Sakuya with an intent to kill.”Excuse me.” Chang-Su grunted and walked past her without another glance or word. Soon-Yi stared after them and slid to the ground, “you all want to play, then I’ll play with you all. Mother, Kim Jae, you both will pay for Taehwa’s life.” She muttered.

Chang-Su settled Sakuya onto the bed and pulled the blankets around her. He closed the door and stared over at Soon-Yi, having hesitated for a moment, he walked over to her. “Don’t give Sakuya a hard time, or I won’t give you an easy time either. Don’t think that because you are waring that necklace means that you are a Kim.” He said in a low voice and walked down the stairs. She took several deep breaths and glared after Chang-Su in anger. Dae watched as Chang-Su went out the door, she stared up at Soon-Yi and smirked. “The competition begins eh?” She mocked. Soon-Yi looked like a bloated balloon and stormed off to her room, banging the door closed behind her. She opened her phone and dialed Hae-Jin’s number, Hae-Jin looked up from his work and gazed at the number.

“…………” He shut off his phone and turned back to his work. Soon-Yi let out a shrilled cry and shoved books off the shelf. Chang-Su was massaging his head, Jae-Hwa came into his office. “Hyeong…do you?” His voice trailed off as he saw Chang-Su’s pale face. “Hey..what’s wrong?” Jae-Hwa exclaimed and heaved Chang-Su onto his back. Jae-Hwa drove Chang-Su to the hospital at once and sprinted down the hospital corridor with Chang-Su on his back. “Doctor Han!” He screamed. Hae-Jin opened his office door and looked around, spotting Jae-Hwa and Chang-Su. “You!” He exclaimed. “Help my brother first!” Jae-Hwa yelled. Hae-Jin felt for a pulse and waved for the nurses. Chang-Su was pushed into the emergency ward, Jae-Hwa fought against the urge to call their father.

He kept praying and staring at the doors, when the doors finally opened. Jae-Hwa pushed himself onto his feet, Hae-Jin came out and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “How is he?” Jae-Hwa demanded. A nurse held out a file to Hae-Jin, he opened it, “that tumor is growing. Medication can only help so much, I suggest you to persuade him to do the surgery at once. Or do the radiation therapy.” Hae-Jin suggested. Jae-Hwa closed his eyes and turned to face the wall, Hae-Jin walked over to him and patted his shoulder, “Chang-Su will be out in a moment.” He added and walked off.

Jae-Hwa slid to the ground, his body was trembling. If it were possible, he wished he was the one with the illness, rather than his older brother. He fought back tears and took a deep breath. Chang-Su walked over to Jae-Hwa and winced in pain for a moment before calling out to him. Jae-Hwa stared at the wall for a moment before turning to him, “Chang-Su get therapy right now or I’ll tell father.” He ordered. Chang-Su stared at him in surprise, “I told you, I won’t, I can’t.” He answered. Jae-Hwa grabbed him by the shirt, “I rather you get help and live a long life with Sakuya!” He yelled. Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa’s gazes locked onto each other, Jae-Hwa pushed him away roughly after a moment. “I don’t care anymore.” He muttered.

Chang-Su fell to his knees before Jae-Hwa, Jae-Hwa’s eyes widened and back away slightly at the action. “Two more years is all I asked please. I’ll do the therapy and take the medication.” He promised. Jae-Hwa held out his pinky to him, Chang-Su smiled and wrapped his pinky around his. “Let’s go home then.” Jae-Hwa sighed and pulled Chang-Su onto his feet. The two brothers walked side by side next to each other, Jae-Hwa kept glancing at him. He loved his brother so much, he remembered when he joined the family. All the years, Chang-Su protected him, allowed him to go to London for college. Stood up for him in front of their father, it was time to repay him. Giving Sakuya back to him was the best he could do.

The next day was a bitter cold winter morning, everyone was up early for class. Dae clung to Sakuya like a magnet, “it’s so great to have you back! We need to do a welcome party!” She cheered. I shook my head, “I am fine besides my mother just—I want it to be quiet.” I reasoned. Chun-Ja slapped Dae over the head, “you are so inconsiderate.” She scowled. Yeun-Ja wrapped a scarf around her neck and grinned. I took a deep breath and walked over to Soon-Yi and took her hands, “have you been well, Soon-Yi-ssi?” I asked. She pulled her hands away from me, I stared at her in surprise. “I think it’s best if we keep our distance from each other. I am Chang-Su’s fiance now.” She said boldly and walked out the door.

I was rooted to the spot, her words hit me like knives. I had tears that  couldn’t fall it ached my heart so much. Dae stared after her, “who does she think she is? She hasn’t even received the engagement ring yet.” She scoffed. I forced a sad smile, “let’s go to class.” I cheered. Soon-Yi was no longer my friend, I could feel that she wouldn’t give up on Chang-Su. I loved her like a sister, I didn’t wish to steal what was rightfully hers. We made it to the dance studio just in time, Chang-Su and Soon-Yi stared over at us. “Just in time everyone, today-we’ll–” He was cut off. As Jae came down the stairs, everyone turned to him in shock and silence.

“I have an important announcement. Starting today, Sakuya Suzuki will be demoted to the janitor position until further notice.” He said in a booming voice. Everyone had a  confused and dumbfounded look upon t heir face, Jae shifted his gaze onto me, “also I forbid Chang-Su to see Miss Sakuya until I say so. That is all I have to say. Security take this girl away at once!” He ordered. Two men came forward and grabbed me under the arms. Chang-Su moved forward, “Abba!” He exclaimed. Jae turned to him at once, “this is for your own good.” He barked. Dae and the others grabbed at me, “Sir Kim! Please reconsider!” They cried. I stared over at Soon-Yi, she was sitting there with an expression of calamity and pleasure.

I began to understand  her true motives, I felt a bean of hatred beginning to sprout in my chest. The guards tugged at me roughly, “Han Soon-Yi!! You–I treated you as a sister! But you–!” I exclaimed. Soon-Yi stood  up calmly and walked over to me, raising her gaze to meet mine. “I am the one and only wife of Chang-Su. What do you think you are?” She asked and slapped me across the face with all her strength. Chang-Su moved forward at once pulling Soon-Yi back and slapped her across the face. The room went deadly silent, Jae slapped Chang-Su across the face. Jae-Hwa stood on the stairs in awe, Dae ran over to him, “Jae-Hwa!!! Help Sakuya!” She cried.

Jae turned to him, Jae-Hwa lowered his head at once, “Abba.” He grunted. The guards pulled me up the stairs and past Jae-Hwa and finally out of sight. Jae-Hwa stared after her with a bewildered expression, “start class, Chang-Su.” Jae ordered and walked off. Soon-Yi walked up to the warm up area with her head held high. Dae walked over to her in disgust, “normally, you are so kind, but today we finally saw your true face.” She spat. Chun-Ja and Yeun-Ja glared over at Soon-Yi, Chang-Su cleared his throat. “Get on your warm ups.” He called. I didn’t care that my face stung; however, I had no idea that under fours months could cause Soon-Yi to change so much.

I was led to the janitor’s office, “she will be joining the janitor services today. Sir Kim has said that you are allowed to continue living in the dorm. However, you aren’t allowed to attend classes.” The guards informed and walked off. I stoo in the office unable to utter a single word, the supervisor observed me and pulled out a set of uniform and sneakers. “Welcome, here are your clothes. Your cleaning equipment has names on them, you’ll come to get the equipment every morning. Today, you can mop the auditorium after they finish class.” She decided. I bowed in silence and she waved me away rudely.

I pushed my cleaning cat out of the room, I still had plenty of time left for myself. Reaching my little safe spot behind the cafeteria, I began to dance and practice by myself. Jae-Hwa looked around the campus, he didn’t say anything to aid Sakuya because he felt guilty. Guilty about the fact that he was keeping Chang-Su’s condition from their father. “Sakuya–where are  you?” He muttered. I couldn’t concentrate, I hated Kim Jae, no, I hated the fact that I didn’t understand him. I did a spin and fell to the ground, suddenly, I remembered what my mother once said.

“Never give up if they want you dead, prove them wrong.”

My gaze lifted slowly off the ground, I grabbed the mop from the cart and danced with it. Jae-Hwa stopped a few feet away and watched her in bewilderment. “That’s the Sakuya I know.” He mused and walked off. This type of lifestyle lasted for more than four months. However, I never surrendered to anyone, and Chang-Su didn’t come looking for me, not even once. It was the beginning of May 2015 was. Chang-Su did watch me from afar in the most secretive way possible. I was 19 years old and becoming more talented each day. I had only one wish and that was to graduate from here as fast as possible.

Love or to be Loved: Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

“Seasons always change,

however, you were the only face that

I wished to remain the same.

Never changing, never fading…”

The flow of time never stops for everyone, with a blink of an eye it was already late November. Mother had been putting up quite a fight, she looked so pale, skinny and her weight loss was frightening. Snow had begun to fall and the beach was deadly empty and quiet. I was cooking rice on the stove, while mother sat by the fireplace. “Kuya…isn’t it time? To go back to Seoul? Don’t waste your time here.” She said in a tired tone. I smiled to myself, “my break is almost over anyway. If you can fully recover, I’ll be more pleased than anything.” I answered and tasted the soup. Strong winds blew against the house making a howling sound, “it’s chilly.” Mother complained.

“Almost done, Okasan!” I called and carried the tray over to the table. Giving a small sigh, I knelt by the fireplace and threw more wood into the fire. Suddenly, a loud banging sound came from the door, my mother and I exchanged glances. “Open up!! It’s me, Ichiro!” A voice called. I smiled and ran to open the door, Ichiro came in and shook snow off himself. “What brings you here at this hour?” I asked. He held up plastic containers, “food for you guys and a message.” He said breathlessly. I took the containers from him and arched my eyebrow at him, “what message?” I asked curiously. He leaned over to me, “Chang-Su is coming in the 2nd week of December. You should be ready to face the problem, goodnight.” He said and waved at my mother and vanished out the door.

I closed the door and stared at the wooden floors in silence, “Kuya?” My mother asked with worry in her tone. I snapped back into reality, “I’m fine, Okasan! Let’s eat.” I cheered. I wanted my mother to meet Chang-Su; however, it wasn’t possible. A week later, I couldn’t find my mother anywhere that morning. I called for her around the house but there was no reply. I entered her room and then went into the bathroom. The toilet was full of blood, my eyes trembled in their sockets in bewilderment. I raised a shaking hand to my mouth; I pulled out my cell and dialed Ichiro’s number. He answered, “Okasan, She’s gone! Blood! There is blood in the toilet, Ichiro!” I squealed and hung up.

Sprinting out the door, I scurried around the beach and called for mother every step of the way. My eyes fell on a figure near a boulder, my heart skipped beats as I walked towards the figure. “Okasan?” I asked. The head moved and stared up at me, her face was sunken and her mouth was blood-stained. She tried to run, but I wrapped my arms around her tightly. “Why?! Why didn’t you tell me about this? How could you hide it?” I mumbled. “Because, I didn’t want you to suffer with me. You’ve done more than enough, Kuya I am really proud of you. I don’t want to tie you down. My dear and beloved daughter…” She cried.

Tears brimmed up in my eyes and slid down my cheeks. My mother coughed and withered, I rubbed her back with a hand. A pool of blood dampened the ground, I covered my mouth with a quivering hand. “Take me closer to the water, Kuya.” She gasped. I obeyed in silence and carried her in my arms, walking closer to the sea. We sat down on the snow covered sand, “Ahh–the sea water smell….is so peaceful. I will be able to see your father soon. I will let him know how much you’ve grown. I want you to find your own happiness before I go. I wanted to see——-!” She cried and broke into a series of coughs.

I closed my eyes in pain and depression, “Shhh, you will see me become a wife, a mother and a grandmother. Don’t worry.” I comforted in a shaking voice. She nodded as her eyes started to droop close, “I love you Sakuya…you are my treasure.” She gasped in a straining voice. I stroked her head with my hand softly. “I love you, Okasan. I always will–remember that well.” I whispered. Her eyes closed slowly, and her head fell limp on my shoulder. I remained silent for a moment as I stared at the waves in the sea, a slight breeze picked up. Tears rolled down my face, “Sakuya!!!” Ichiro called. I didn’t answer, he looked around frantically and then he saw them. He sprinted towards us and came to a stop, “Auntie?” He asked uneasily. I refused to answer, or more like I couldn’t find anything to utter.

Ichiro knelt by us and raised a trembling  hand to my mother. She was cold to the touch, “don’t tell me…she is—!” He exclaimed. I gave a brief nod, he lowered his head in a moment of silence. Mother’s funeral was simple and quiet, my dad’s family didn’t attend, or allow my mother to be buried in the family graveyard. Therefore, I decided to have my mother cremated and have her ashes to be blown away at the beach. Ichiro stood next to me and watched sadly, she loved the sea, this was the best resting place for her. Her wish would have been to be with the sea forever. Father was cremated and sent away at this very spot.

After the funeral, Ichiro asked me to pack up and stay at his place. I refused because I wanted to remain by my mother for a little bit longer. Snowstorms came in and ravaged through Tokyo in a very brutal way, I sat in the house cleaning and packing away mother’s things. Another week had passed,

“We are now landing in Tokyo Airport.

Please remain seated.”

Chang-Su stared out the tiny window as the plane drifted downwards. Ichiro was waiting by the gates patiently, the bars lifted and passengers filed down the tunnel. Chang-Su came out with his bag, Ichiro leaped over the rail and dashed over to him. “Chang-Su.”  He greeted. “Annyeonghaseyo.” Chang-Su greeted. Ichiro was glad that Chang-Su made it, “come on, I’ll take you to where Sakuya is.” He said. I was dressed in a long sleeved black dress, it was freezing; however, I didn’t want to disrespect the dead. Ichiro pulled to a stop, a few feet away from the house.

“That’s where Sakuya is–” He informed. Chang-Su stared at the house in silence, Ichiro stared at him in bewilderment. “Are you frightened?” Ichiro asked. “Of course not.” Chang-Su answered coolly and got out of the car. He made his way towards the house, he was in fear and remembered what Sakuya had told him at the airport. His pace slowed as he lifted his gaze to the lit house ahead. If  I don’t face her, the problem would never be solved. I’ve changed with a clear resolution in my eyes. I won’t let her go–. Without realizing it, he had reached the door, he raised a hand to knock. I looked up from the book I was reading, I got up and walked over to the door opening it. Our eyes met at that moment, he gazed at her speechless. I observed him closely, he seemed thinner and worn out.

My heart pounded against my chest if everything were to change in the world, my feelings for him would never change. They would stay strong like this forever. Time seemed to slow down between us, he thought she didn’t changed one bit, as beautiful and fierce in spirit. His own feelings were twice as strong for her, from this moment he never wanted to be parted from her again. Even if it meant abandoning Soon-Yi, and his family and status in society. As long as he could see her near or far was enough. I burst into tears and ran into his arms, he stared down at m and wrapped his arms around her.

This embrace, his scent, his arms, the firmness of his chest eased my pain. We sat across from each other in front of the fireplace, he smiled at her teasingly. I glanced at him in uneasiness, “what?” I threatened. “You look so transformed here just like a farmer’s wife living here.” He teased. I broke into laughter, “but, wouldn’t it be nice to live here and be able to be separated from the cruel world.” I sighed. he got up and walked over to the window looking outside, “Mm, you do have a good point.” He grunted. I grinned to myself and wiped the table in silence, he walked over to her and grabbed my hand. I raised my eyes to him in confusion, “Come back to Seoul with me, Sakuya. You have no one else here.” He said resting a hand on my shoulder.

I turned to face him and squeezed his hand, “Yes, I will return with you.” I said softly. Chang-Su was raised in a rich family, he wouldn’t understand, how a house like this could satisfy me. “Then, how about we enjoy a  night here and then head to the airport in the morning?” I suggested. He nodded, I stood up and rubbed my tummy. “Thank goodness, I don’t only have instant noodles.” I mocked. He broke into laughter, we both cooked, acted like best friends, predictable like husband and wife. That night was so magical and priceless in my memories.

Ichiro stood outside the house in silence, snow begun to fall onto him. “Be happy…Sakuya.” He muttered and walked back towards his car. I gave a yawn and sat up, staring over at Chang-Su who was still asleep. I poked at his nose and went to wash up. Chang-Su rolled onto his stomach looking around the empty living room. “Good morning!” He called. I popped up from behind the counter in the kitchen and smiled, “you aren’t a morning person I see.” I teased. He walked over to me, “yes, I have ten alarm clocks around my bed.” He exaggerated. I placed bowls on the counter, his hand extended for a bowl, I immediately grabbed his wrist. “Go wash up first!” I exclaimed.

He eyed her naughtily and growled playfully, “alright.” He teased and and headed up stairs. The doorbell rung, I walked over to the door and opened it. Ichiro stared at me happily, “chauffeur at your service.” He teased. I arched an eyebrow at him, “how about your wife?” I asked. He slumped onto the couch, “sleeping like a pig.” He informed lazily. I elbowed at him, “don’t say that about your wife.” I hissed. Chang-Su came down the stairs, I turned to him, “Ichiro is here.” I called and moved back to the kitchen. Chang-Su sat down with Ichiro and the two engaged in conversation at once. Shaking my head lightly, I brought over a tray and sat down across from them. Ichiro sat back in his seat, “are you ready to go back?” He asked, staring over at her.

I smiled sweetly and held Chang-Su’s hand across the table, “yes, no matter what happens–I won’t let go this time.” I said softly. Chang-Su squeezed my hand tightly in silence, Ichiro made a shivering movement. “Wow, too romantic!! Even my wife and I don’t say such things.” He teased. I grabbed a bun and threw it at him, “don’t throw food!” Ichiro barked. The three of us laughed loudly that was a heart warming moment, which I wanted to engrave into my heart. I told them that I wanted to bid goodbye to my parents, the three of us faced the sea and bowed.

I took a deep breath, “Otosan!! Oksan!! I’m leaving now!!! I’ll never forget either of you!! I’ll come back to visit! I promise!” I called over the crashing waves. Chang-Su stared at her and smiled happily. Ichiro stared over at the both of them, “don’t worry about Sakuya, she’ll be fine!” He called. I stared over at Ichiro and smiled sadly. Ichiro drove us to the airport, “be sure to write, call and email.” He said. I laughed loudly, “sure everyday.” I answered. We reach the airport with time to spare, I settled in a chair in the waiting area. Ichiro and Chang-Su went to the rest room, Chang-Su came out of the stall, Ichiro was already waiting for him. Ichiro pushed Chang-Su into a wall roughly, “what are you doing?!” Chang-Su exclaimed.

“You better not harm Sakuya again, Or I won’t forgive you. She may be strong–but she isn’t invincible…she is fragile. If you make her cry again, I’ll tell Jae-Hwa to take her. Do you understand?” Ichiro demanded. Chang-Su stared at him, “yes.” Was all he managed to say. Ichiro released his grip, “good.” He replied. I looked around, time was almost up, I was beginning to worry about them. When a hand clasped down on my shoulder, I stared up at Chang-Su and Ichiro. “Let’s go.” Chang-Su said. I nodded and took my bag in hand, Ichiro moved between us and pulled me into a hug. My eyes widened at the embrace, “protect yourself, Sakuya.” He whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek. My heart pounded in confusion, “what–” I whispered. He slid a slip of paper into my hand and backed away. “Have a safe trip–the both of you.” Ichiro said and waved walking off.

Chang-Su stared after him, I slid the paper away into my bag, “let’s go.” He said pulling me along by the arm. I took the chance when Chang-Su fell asleep and unfolded the paper. There was only a single sentence:

“Chang-Su still has an engagement to Soon-Yi.”

My gaze shifted onto the sleeping Chang-Su, my hands quivered slightly. I knew that already because I saw the indescribable  sorrow on his face this time. It couldn’t be dissolved by any laughter or joy, he had to obey his father’s wishes. If that was true, then I only wanted to spend the little time I had with him. I didn’t desire to be part of a rich family or cause any trouble. Raising a hand to Chang-Su’s cheek, I stroked his face lightly. Sitting back in my seat, I stared out the window, “the trouble was about to begin all over again.” I thought.

“Sir Kim–it seems like Sakuya Suzuki is returning with the young master.” A man reported. Jae stared out the window, “let her come, I have plans.” He mused. Soon-Yi sat in the cafeteria alone, “why, why did you come back?” She muttered and balled her hands into fists. Jae-Hwa sat with Dae on the bench, “mm, Sakuya is coming back-” He grunted reading a message on his cell. Dae peeked over at his cell, “you are like those FBI guys on tv.” She teased. Jae-Hwa turned to her about to say something, when he saw Sakuya sitting next to him. Dae tilted her head at him, “is something wrong?” She asked. Jae-Hwa looked away mumbling under his breath, Hei stared out at them from behind a tree. Her hand clenched into a fist, snow blew over the area, her ribbon flew out of hair hair and floated through the sky.

The trouble was about to begin, the fight was about to surface once more. Hearts waiver and cringe at the arrival  of the new round they had to face.

Love or to be Loved: Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

“Time is cruel in every aspect of our lives.

We question ourselves,

what is our purpose and what are we waiting for?

Yeun-Ja wrote countless letters to Mun-Hee, she never gave up and was stubborn that way. The countless text messages and emails she sent, but never got a reply. Who would have known, it had been Hei, who was doing the dirty work. Such as blocking emails, intercepting text messages and tearing up letters before they reached the mail truck. “Still haven’t gotten even a single reply yet?” Chun-Ja asked, peeling peanuts on the couch. Yeun-Ja shook her head in silence, “aye–obviously was toying with you.” Dae said walking past them with a bowl of popcorn. “Dae-Ssi, don’t be so mean.” Chun-Ja scowled and brushed the peanut shells into the garbage bag. Dae gave a shrug and  sat down on the love seat.

The dorm doors opened as Hei came in with Soon-Yi following with her luggage. All three heads turned towards them, silence fell upon the three girls at once. “You–” Chun-Ja started. Dae stood up slowly, offering a playful smirk, “welcome back, Soon-Yi.” She greeted with extreme mockery in her tone. Soon-Yi moved forward awkwardly, “I’m back, sorry to make everyone worry.” She apologized. “Why would you think, anyone here, would worry about you?” Chun-Ja shot back. Hei cleared her throat, “I’ll leave you girls alone then, don’t start a fight.” She warned and turned to leave. Yeun-Ja ran over to her, “Miss Hei! Are there any letters for me?” She asked hopefully.

Hei stared at her with a stony expression, “no, were you expecting something. Min Yeun-Ja, you should focus on your classes more than about letters.” She answered. Yeun-Ja’s expression turned into disdain again and lowered her head in shame. Hei cleared her throat once more and made her way out the doors. Soon-Yi stood for a moment in the room, the tension was appalling for everyone. “I’m going up to my room.” She muttered and went up the stairs. Dae made faces at her back, “Dae!” Chun-Ja scolded, trying to not laugh.

Ichiro sat on the balcony dialing on his cell. Jae-Hwa was the one he preferred to call and tell his worries about Sakuya to him. His wife came up from behind and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Who are you calling?” She asked. He stared up at her happily, “a friend in Seoul.” He answered. She nodded halfheartedly, he stared up at her and kissed her cheek. As a beep came from his cell, he pointed to the phone, she took the cue and went back inside.

“Wow, Sakuya must be lonely and focused on her mother.

I told Chang-Su, he says he’ll come in November or December.

Work is up to our necks, it’s do or die.

~Jae-Hwa”

Ichiro stared at the message in solitude in deep thought and begun to type a reply. His wife stared out at Ichiro in suspicion and wonder. Mother and I sat together on the beach with a blanket under us. The times were rolling in calmly and then retreating. Mother had finally enough energy to stay awake. “Do you like it here, Okasan?” I asked. She gave a slow nod, “mm, I want to stay here, Kuya.” She whispered. She grunted in pain and squirmed slightly, I turned to to her with a fearful expression. “Okasan?! Are you alright?!” I exclaimed. “It hurts Kuya…do something please!” She pleaded.

I pulled out the painkiller and glanced over at mother once more. I didn’t want her to rely on the painkiller, but she looked dreadful. “Give it here!” Her mother gasped. “Ah-” I uttered. She opened her mouth, I placed a pill into her mouth and poured water down her throat. “Where are you, when I need you, Chang-Su? What am I waiting for?” I mumbled to myself. I rested my head on top of my mom’s and closed my eyes to rest. Chang-Su was teaching the girls, how to do more complicated dance styles. “Good job, everyone, we’ll call it a day alright?” He called.

The girls filed out, Soon-Yi walked over to him, Chang-Su glanced at her uneasily, “do you need something” He asked. “Want to go on date together?” She asked. Jae-Hwa came down the stairs, “Chang-Su!!!” He called. Chang-Su stared over at him, “Jae-Hwa!” He answered. Soon-Yi stared over at Jae-Hwa, “sorry, Soon-Yi. I have something to do today with Jae-Hwa.” Chang-Su apologized. Soon-Yi looked as if her feelings were hurt, she bit at her lip and gave a brief nod. “Sorry, goodbye.” She muttered and sprinted from the room. Chang-Su stared at the ceiling and let out a sigh, Jae-Hwa walked over to him, “did I just save you?” Jae-Hwa teased.

Chang-Su threw sweat dampened towels at him, “don’t flatter yourself.” He said coldly and took his medication. Jae-Hwa tossed the towel to the ground, “Sakuya is one strong girl.” He sighed and sat down on the bench. Chang-Su sat next to him, “I want to run to her side right now. If that were possible for our circumstances.” Chang-Su muttered. Jae-Hwa stared over at him, “you can go now, I offered you a two week break.” He reminded. Chang-Su shook his head, “I don’t want to rush her, it’s good to give space and time for each other.” He sighed. Jae-Hwa nodded slowly, Chang-Su let out a sigh and winced, massaging his forehead with a hand.

Jae-Hwa stared at him, “you okay?” He asked. Chang-Su gave a slow nod, “don’t worry about me.” He grunted. Mun-Hee sat on his bed and stared out the window, his phone vibrated next to him. He held it above him and stared at the caller ID.

“Yeun-Ja.”

He smiled and flipped his phone open, “hello, Yeun-Ja. Were you too busy to write or call?” He asked laughing lightly. “It’s me–Chancellor Song Hei, Yeun-Ja asked me to call. She says, she is too busy with class, she says she has no time for you. Also, please don’t contact her anymore.” Hei finished with mockery in her voice. The phone flipped from his fingers and fell onto the carpet. He fell onto his bed and closed his eyes to think. Hei smirked and hung up, she spun in her chair laughing at the ceiling. “No one will be spared, I promise you.” She mused.

Love or to Be Loved: Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

“The comforting words of a dear friend,

their arms like walls.

Shedding us from  harm…”

“Sakuya!!!” A familiar voice yelled, as the door banged open. My head swirled around at once, using a hand to hold my place in the book I was reading. Ichiro was standing in the doorway, with a tan and completely out of breath. I was in shock at the sight of him, I pushed myself onto my feet with relief and astonishment. He walked towards me making an action to want to hug me, but he held himself back. Taking a moment of hesitation, he moved past me and stared down at my mother. “How could this happen to Aunt Suzuki? She is such a nice person and never harmed anyone.” He said breathlessly. I stood behind him in awkward silecen, while trying to fight back tears and words of grief.

Ichiro fixed the blankets around her, “Aunt Suzuki, it’s me, Ichiro. I’ve come back, look I even got a tan!” He exclaimed trying to lighten the mood. Mother remained perfectly still with only the sounds from the machines filled the room. At that moment, mother’s body begun to wither and squirm jolting around on the bed. She was having another seizure from the medication. I pushed Ichiro aside frantically and rung the bell on the wall continuously. I sprinted outside, calling urgently for a doctor and assistance. At that point, I lost total control over myself, by collapsing onto the ground and sobbing heavily in fright and pain.

Doctors and two nurses came running and went into the room at once closing the doors in my face. Ichiro had been shooed out of the room, he was pale with fear and stared down at me. “Sakuya-Chan, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was this serious…” He muttered. I stared at him with my lips tremblings and fell against him crying loudly, “let me borrow your shoulder for five minutes.” I croaked. He patted my head with a hand softly, the door opened after a few moments. Ichiro pulled me onto my feet and we walked over to the doctors together. I had to remain calm; I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. “How is my Okasan?” I finally asked.

The two doctors stared at each other, it seemed like a  hard matter to discuss. Finally, one doctor spoke up, “the new treatment and medicine is not only useless, but completely ineffective for her.” He finally said. My entire world was crashing down on me, I moved closer to them, “bottom line?” I asked in above a whisper. The doctor stared at her in uneasiness, “as advanced medical treatments are, there isn’t an absolute cure for cancer. Her cancer is spreading too fast, she won’t make it past the next month.” He explained. I grabbed the doctor by the collar in a moment of frustration, Ichiro pulled at my sleeve.

“Sakuya, stop. Restrain yourself!” He yelled. Mu lips trembled violently, “so–you can’t do anything else for her right? I want her discharged right away and spend the remaining time with her peacefully away from here.” I said calmly. The doctors stared at her, “are you sure?” They asked. I closed my  eyes calmly and took a deep breath, “yes.” I answered. Ichiro stared at me, the doctors finally gave consent to us. I packed up my mother’s clothes, as Ichiro helped carry my mother into the wheelchair. I pushed my mother out the doors after signing all the paperwork. Ichiro followed us out, the silence between us was immense.

“I’ll–get the car.” He informed and hurried past us. I didn’t answer him, when he was out of sight, I knelt down by my mother. I bit my lip trying to hold back the tears, she was fast asleep, the doctor had given us strong painkillers to use when needed. I took her skinny and cold hands in mine, “Okasan…” I mumbled. A horn was heard, I turned to see Ichiro pull up to us. He got out of the car and opened the door, he was at my side at once. Pushing me out of the way, he heaved my mother into the back seat. I folded the chair and opened the trunk putting it in, Ichiro held open the door for me. I raised my gaze to him, “you don’t have to treat me so well, you have your own family now.” I reasoned.

He pushed me into the seat, “don’t argue with me.” He said icily. My mouth fell open in disbelief, “I’m not arguing, where did you get the idea or thought that I was arguing?” I exclaimed as the door banged shut in my face. He got into the driver’s side, “where do you want to go?” He asked, ignoring my previous remarks.”You know my dad left a summerhouse near the sea under my mother’s name, go there.” I said. He stared at me in bewilderment, “that place is miles away from a town, if something happens—” His voice trailed off. I eyed him angrily, “don’t question me, or I’ll go with my mother on my own.” I scowled. He raised his hands up in surrender and pulled onto the road.

“Alright, stay on your toes.” He sighed and stared ahead. I stared back at my mother, she was sleeping like a baby. Ichiro glanced over at me, “go to sleep, I’ll wake you when we arrive.” He said. I gave him a suspicious gaze, “you better not be trying to trick me.” I warned and closed my eyes to rest. He smiled at her and continued to drive smoothly, he took the cell from her bag and turned it on. His gaze fell upon Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa’s numbers, he sent them to his own phone and slipped her phone back into her bag. He had to know what was going on, which caused her to come back. The smell of sea came through the opened car windows, Ichiro pulled up the driveway to the summerhouse and parked. He leaned over to her and patted her on the shoulder lightly, I gave a shudder and woke up.

“We’re here sleepy head.” He teased. I groaned and go out of the car, he carried my mother out of the back. I hurriedly came around with the wheelchair, he set my mother down carefully and backed away a few steps. His cell suddenly rung, he turned away and answered, “hello? yes, I am still with my friend, honey. I’ll be back tonight, you can go ahead to dad and mom’s house first.” He said. I smiled to myself, he had moved on and seemed to have a fulfilled life. That was the satisfaction I wanted to see happen to him; I pushed my mom past him heading up to the house. Ichiro hung up and ran after them, when he reached the house. I had already laid mother on a bed when he came through the door.

“Wow you work so fast.” He praised and fell onto the couch. I held out a can of soda to him, “you should go home before your wife has a fit; I will be fine here. I don’t want you to be burdened with us.” I said calmly. He stared at me with surprise, “nonsense, you don’t need to have such formalities with me.” He said in above a whisper. His cell rung again in the tension of the room, he flipped his cell open and walked over to the window. My eyes lingered on his back, “Yes, I know. I said, I’ll be there.” He scolded and hung up. He took a deep breath and turned to face her, I was already holding the door open for him. “Please just go–” I mumbled. Ichiro lowered his head, and walked out the door without looking at her, I closed it with a bang.

Soon-Yi was finally able to be discharged from the hospital, Hae-Jin came into the room happily; she turned to face him in surprise. “I heard you were being released today, congrats.” He said holding out a hand to her. She smiled at him warmly and shook his hand lightly. “It’s all thanks to you, Doctor Han.” She said with gratitude. He arched an eyebrow at her, “you are too formal, just call me Hae-Jin.” He said. Soon-Yi observed him, “wouldn’t that be too rude?” She asked. Hae-Jin glared at her, “we are friends right?” He asked. She felt her heart tingly with joy to have a friend again, she nodded eagerly, “alright then Hae-Jin, please feel free to call me Soon-Yi.” She said. Hae-Jin tried to not laugh, “Soon-Yi.” He called.

She applauded in joy, “Hae-Jin, let us go out for a meal, my treat.” She said proudly. “I just got off duty, where do you want to go?” He asked. She sneered at him, “tell you when we get there.” She taunted. She was pulling him out the door, “what about your eommi?” He exclaimed. “Don’t worry about her!” Soon-Yi assured. They entered a food stall that was selling intestines. Hae-Jin stared at the pans of raw intestines and foods, and then at the people that were eating at the tables. They stared up at him, he gave a nod and turned to Soon-Yi. She stared at him with an arched eyebrow, he tried to make a run for it. Soon-Yi pushed him back, “what are you doing?! The chicken feet and intestines are delicious here.” She explained.

“N-no, I just remembered, I left something in the car.” He informed and tried to make another run for it. Soon-Yi wrapped her hand around  his arm, his hand snapped down to their entangled hands. “No escaping!” She threatened. “Madam, please give us some chicken feet, heart and intestines. Of course, we can’t leave out the pig skin! As well as a bottle of soju.” She finished. Hae-Jin watched the madam put long, dangling, raw intestines onto a plate. Soon-Yi poured soju into tiny cups and elbowed him roughly, holding the cup out to him. He took it slowly, “bottoms up!” She cheered and drank it. He winced as he poured the burning liquor down his throat. “Hard to believe that a rich girl like you, would eat at a  place like this.” He said slowly.

Soon-Yi glared at him interestingly, “what were you expecting? A five star restaurant? Those places are so nostalgic.” She muttered, rolling her eyes. Hae-Jin stared at her and chuckled, “I learned to enjoy eating here because of my ex.” She sighed and poured more soju. Hae-Jin was even more curious, “Chang-Su?” He asked. She let out a laugh and shook her head, “Taehwa, but he died a few years ago.” She mumbled. Hae-Jin’s grip tightened on the cup, “sorry to hear that.” He answered. After they finished eating, they walked down the street happily with embraced arms.

A black car sat quietly before a fountain, Hae sat back in her seat, “so, it’s really her son. That shameless woman, clinging to our surname endlessly.” She hissed and threw the file down. “What should we do now madam?” The driver asked. “Find them.” Hae muttered, narrowing her eyes. Soon-Yi and Hae-Jin sat on the stairs, “it’s so quiet here so peaceful.” She sighed. He gazed at her in silence, “tomorrow, I will return to the campus. To face everyone…I really want to scream.” She mumbled. “Then scream, let it all out.” Hae-Jin replied carefully. Soon-Yi stared over at him, he raised his gaze to her, there was a moment of silence and then Soon-Yi stood up.

Opening  her mouth wide, she let out a nerve racking scream. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” She yelled. Hae-Jin stared up at her, trying to not laugh, she pulled him up by the arm. He stared at her in confusion, “you have to scream too!” She ordered. Hae-Jin’s jaw dropped in shock, “why?” He asked in surprise. “Because we are friends, we are suppose to do everything together.” She called at the top of her lungs. He let out a scream, when a car pulled up to the curb. Doors opened, “get away from him, Soon-Yi!” yelled Hae. Soon-Yi stared down at her, “stay away!” She yelled. Hae stared up the stairs towards them, “he-he is your stepmother’s son! She came with him into our family when he was still an infant and threatened your father to give her a place!” Hae accused.

Soon-Yi was silent for a moment and then broke into laughter, “your white faced lies are so vague, seriously eommi. Go practice a few more years.” She teased. Hae raised a shaking finger at Hae-Jin, “tell her the truth, you insolent boy!” She threatened. He moved in front of Soon-Yi, “Madam, I can tell you that my parents were generous people. I won’t allow you to taint their names.” He said coldly. Hae was surprised at his edgy attitude, Soon-Yi was growing more angrier at the moment and moved out from behind Hae-Jin. She grabbed her mother and pulled her down the stairs, “Eommi, enough let us go. Don’t taint our friendship with your psychological disorders.” She ordered. Hae turned back to stare at Hae-Jin, “stay away from her or you’ll regret it!” She threatened.

Soon-Yi pushed her mother into the car, she turned back towards Hae-Jin; he gave her an encouraging nod. Soon-Yi stepped into the car and the door banged closed. Hae-Jin’s expression turned at once to an icy expression as the car  pulled away. Hae stared over at Soon-Yi in the car, Soon-Yi stared out the window in silence. “You aren’t to see that man again, do you understand me?” Hae asked. “Or what? You’ll kill him?” Soon-Yi mocked coldly. Hae glanced at her in disbelief, Soon-Yi finally turned to her and sneered, “what’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” She added teasingly. Their gazes locked on each other in silent converstation, before Hae turned away and stared out the window.

Soon-Yi only wanted a mother, who wouldn’t meddle in her affairs or in her business, or was that too much to ask from her? Hae only wanted a daughter with intelligence, beauty and married into the correct family. Was that too much to ask? A woman may not fear their husband to be out having affairs, but a woman should never marry the wrong man. Or their entire life would be ruined by that man.

Love or to be Loved: Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

“Even if we are separated by space,

our hearts will contain only the other.

We’ll continue waiting for the day

to be reunited…”

I had been home for two days from Seoul, Jae-Hwa already called me yesterday, and informed me that Chang-Su was fine. I was so relieved, as long as he was well, I could keep on breathing. If I did something to cause Chang-Su to collapse like that and he couldn’t wake up again; I would probably never forgive myself. My mother was surprised, that I came home so suddenly. She looked so skinny and pale, it seemed like she was overworking or something had seriously gone wrong, either way I was truly beginning to worry. But, she insisted she was fine and nothing was wrong, I intended to to take her to the hospital. According to her, Ichiro and his wife would come back in a few days from their honeymoon. Mother was most worried about me thought, she thought there had to be a reason I needed a break. In her eyes, Sakuya Suzuki was someone who would never give up. I planned to work in the bakery with mother during my stay  here, as my way to amend and help out.

“Okasan!!!!!!!! It’s time to go to work. If we are late again, Uncle will have complaints.” I called. There was no answer from the bathroom, she had been in there for some time. I tied my right pigtail and frowned at the eerie silence and walked over to the bathroom door. Raising a hand, I knocked lightly on the door, “Okasan?” I called again. My heart pounded against my chest, I kicked open the door; my eyes fell on the unconscious body of my mother sprawled on the ground, the toilet was all red. “Okasan!!” I yelled in fear. I sat on the bench outside of the emergency room in silence, I was afraid, frightened and felt even more lonely than ever. I didn’t want my mother to leave me, for the first time in my life, I got down onto my knees and prayed. The doors to the emergency ward opened, the doctor came out and pulled off the mask. I scurried onto my feet, “doctor, how is my mother?” I asked. He stared at me, seemingly hesitant and studied me for a moment, “how old are you, Miss Suzuki?” He asked letting out a sigh.

“Eighteen.” I answered honestly. He nodded, “Eighteen–you should be able to comprehend this. Your mother has liver cancer, she has less than three months left to live.” He informed. My eyes turned blank, “……..” I was speechless. The entire world seemed to be coming down on me. I was about to become an orphan, my mother was about to leave me. It was at a time like this, when I wanted Chang-Su next to me, hold me close and tell me that it was going to be alright. At Winners Dance School, class was in session once more, Chang-Su led Mun-Hee into the dance studio. “Listen up everyone, this young man is Lee Mun-Hee. He is here on visit and to observe our class, give him a warm welcome.” Chang-Su said applauding happily. Mun-Hee bowed to them, “Annyeonghaseyo. I’m Lee Mun-Hee, I am majoring in arts at a university.” He said. Yeun-Ja stared at him with a curious expression.

Chang-Su nodded,  his eyes lingered among the three girls, “where is Soon-Yi?” He asked. “She never came back from her mother’s, probably busy with something.” Dae taunted. Chang-Su frowned, “okay then, today we’ll start off from where we left off with the ballroom dances. Today, we will cover the mamba dance, its a free movement dance.” He said and turned on the music. He moved in front of them and gave hand signs, as the girl followed his signals easily. Chang-Su walked in between the girls and fixed some positions, his eyes fell on Yeun-Ja, “Yeun-Ja focus more.” He called. Yeun-Ja jumped and muttered an apology, becoming more focused and alert. The day was over before they knew it, “good job everyone, go get some rest.” He called. Yeun-Ja hurried past Mun-Hee and gave a quick bow. Mun=Hee was startled at her action and stood up quickly, giving a bow in return. Chang-Su walked over to him and patted his shoulder with a hand, “what do you think of the girls and how we operate?” He asked.

“Excellent, student and teacher coordination was brilliant. Kim Seonsaong, you are the youngest instructor ever to teach here, and the most talented. I can see why my aunt insisted me to come and see for my own eyes of how a real dance school looks like.” Mun-Hee said happily. Chang-Su bowed, “you speak too highly of me.” He said. “Wow, that nephew of Principal Song was so handsome. Although, Kim Seonsaong is still the top guy here.” Dae said in joy. Chun-Ja stared up from her food, “what’s this? You are giving up on the assistant director?” She teased. Dae’s lip curled slightly, “Jae-Hwa is always my first choice, I leave Mun-Hee to you and Yeun-Ja.” She scoffed, waving a hand at them. Chun-Ja nodded in joy and turned to Yeun-Ja eagerly, “do you like him? If you do, go ahead. He isn’t really my type.” She said and sat back in her seat relaxed. Yeun-Ja immediately turned as red as the apples on the table, “don’t joke, I’m not that type of the girl that could arouse interest in a guy like him!” She stammered.

Dae slapped her on the back encouragingly, “don’t say such stupid things about yourself. You are worth his time and our good friend forever.” She comforted. Yeun-Ja turned even redder and bowed her head in joy. Chun-Ja sat back in her seat, “I’m more worried about where Soon-Yi is. You guys don’t think that she quit the school, do you?” She asked. Dae looked up with a mouthful of rice, “I hope she did!” She spat, sending rice flying from her mouth, onto Chun-Ja and Yeun-Ja.

Mun-Hee came into the cafeteria and looked around. “Aiyeee!” Chun-Ja and Yeun-Ja exclaimed, brushing rice off themselves. “You have some on your hair.” Came a voice. Yeun-Ja turned to face Mun-Hee, he was turning red as well, “Mun-Hee Seonbae!” She exclaimed, standing up at once. He raised a hand to her hair and picked out pieces of rice carefully. Yeun-Ja looked away in embarrassment, Dae and Chun-Ja giggled. He brushed her hair with a hand, “there, all back to normal.” He said happily. Yeun-Ja avoided his gaze, “thank you…Mun-Hee Seonbae.” She stammered. He shook his head, “please continue your meal.” He said and walked away.

Dae studied Yeun-Ja teasingly, “what great manners, eh Yeun-Ja?” Dae called. Yeun-Ja wasn’t listening, she was captivated by this man already. Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa sat on the stage, “so, Soon-Yi didn’t come today, I wondered if something happened.” Jae-Hwa muttered. Chang-Su opened a can of beer and took a sip, “Abba might know.” He replied. Jae-Hwa snatched the beer from him, and  held out a bottle of juice. Chang-Su rolled his eyes in disbelief, and took the juice from him. “Soon-Yi is a strong girl, she will come back.” Jae-Hwa said as his cell rung. He was taken by surprise and pulled it out, staring at the text message.

“My mother has been

diagnosed with liver cancer.

She has less than three months to live.

I have no one else to turn to.

I need a huge amount of money for her.

~Sakuya”

“Chang-Su!!! Chang-Su!!!” Jae-Hwa yelled shoving at him with a hand. Leading to the bottle of juice being spilled over his pants, Chang-Su turned to him in annoyance. “What?!” He demanded. Jae-Hwa shoved the phone into his face, Chang-Su stared at the message, his eyes widened in bewilderment. “Sakuya—!” He exclaimed. “Where are we going to get a huge amount of money from?” Jae-Hwa asked. Chang-Su paced around the stage, “I’ll call Abba.” Jae-Hwa suggested and dialed the number.

“Annyeonghaseyo, is father home?” Jae-Hwa asked. After a moment, Jae-Hwa hung up and turned to Chang-Su with an expression drained of hope. “Well?” Chang-Su asked. “Abba is in Tokyo right now at a convention, held by an old doctor friend.” Jae-Hwa replied. Chang-Su shook his head at the words, “not good.” He muttered. I sat at my mother’s bedside, waiting for Jae-Hwa’s response. She was suffering, I could tell from the sweat upon her pale face; Ichiro was due back in less than an hour, after I called him earlier. Voices were outside the room and grew louder, “Sakuya…water…” My mother croaked. I felt relieved that she wanted water and hurriedly grabbed the empty pitcher and went outside.

Nearly bumping into someone, “Gomenasai!” I muttered, giving a slight bow. “Oh? This is such a small world, Ms. Sakuya.” Came a familiar voice. My heart and body tensed at the sound  of the voice, slowly I raised my head up to Kim Jae in shock, he sneered at me in mockery. “Gyong-Si  said you were such a brilliant girl. However, it seems to me, that you are weaker than an ant. A few words from me, and you come running back to Tokyo. How will you compete for my son then?” Jae spat. My hand balled into a fist, “…excuse me.” I muttered through gritted teeth and walked past the group.

Jae turned to the doctor at once, “why is she here?” He asked in an irritated tone. The doctor let out a sigh, “her mother has only three months left, she is diagnosed with liver cancer. She needs a huge amount of money, in order for her mother to stay here.”  The doctor explained. At night, I wrapped my blanket around myself, my eyes were glued on my mother’s sleeping face. I wanted her to yell at me, lecture me and reason with me, most of all–I wanted her to get up and be recovered. Letting out a deep sigh, the door opened slowly, I frowned and turned to see Jae in the doorway.

I rose to my feet slowly, “why are you here? Leave at once!” I hissed frantically, trying to not wake my mother. He motioned to me, “come out.” He ordered and backed out of the room. I hesitated for a moment and followed after him, out of the room. I closed the door and turned to Jae, “what do you want–Sir Kim?” I asked. He stared at her in silence, “amazing, how you are able to keep your composure in front of me. I acknowledge that spirit of yours.” He mused. I averted my eyes, “answer me…I am in no mood for your games.” I grunted in annoyance. He nodded in agreement, and pulled out a check to me. I stared at the check, there were seven digits in the money space, my eyes raised to him in surprise.

“What is this for?” I asked in suspicion. “To be able to not flinch in front of such an amount of money is a talent and moral. This is for your mother’s medical needs here.” He answered. I arched my eyebrow at him, “what is the price I have to pay? What must I agree to?” I asked. Jae stared at her, “nothing. Just enjoy your break, and take care of your mother.” He said. I was shaken by his words, I was expecting something to do with Chang-Su. He patted her shoulder with a hand, “I still disapprove of you being involved with my son though.” He added.

I gave a sneer at him, “I promise you, I won’t give up on Chang-Su.” I said simply. Jae eyed me in anger and turned walking off, “spend time with your mother-” He reminded and vanished around the corner. I stared down at the check and smiled to myself, and then headed back into the room. Soon after, I sent a message to Jae-Hwa telling him about the money problem being settled. Jae-Hwa ran down the stairs and banged open the door to Chang-Su’s dorm room. Chang-Su stared over at him, “don’t you know how to knock?” He asked and closed the folder.

Jae-Hwa gave a shrug, “knocking would be a waste of time.” He reasoned. Chang-Su took out his medicine dose and placed it in his mouth, swallowing with a mouthful of water. “Sakuya sent a message, the money issue is settled.” Jae-Hwa informed. “How?” Chang-Su asked. Jae-Hwa stared at him, “father, who else could it be?” He said coolly. Chang-Su walked over to the window, “I’m worried about what price she had to pay for that money–” He muttered. Jae-Hwa nodded and slumped into a chair. The rest of the week passed very fast, with training and other components.

Yeun-Ja and Mun-Hee walked next to each other in silence after dinner, “tomorrow you will go back to your school right?” Yeun-Ja asked sadly. He nodded slowly, “thanks for showing me around so much. If you ever come to visit, I’ll return the favor.” He promised. She stared at him and blushed, “I’ll visit when I can, I promise as well.” She exclaimed, breathlessly. He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, when someone called, “Yeun-Ja!” Came Dae’s voice. Yeun-Ja closed her eyes and broke into an embarrassed grin, Mun-He rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. “Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said. She waved at him and ran off towards Dae, he stared after her in fulfillment and joy.

Principal Song came up from behind him, he turned to see her and jumped slightly, “Aunt Song!” He greeted in shock. She nodded after Yeun-Ja, “you’ve grown to like her?” She asked. Mun-Hee nodded, “yes, I do and what about it?” He asked. The Principal’s expression turned to pale at once, from calamity to disgust. She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook at him, “You can’t! I won’t allow it, that girl’s father is a  huge gambling addict! If you get involved with her, the debt will never end.” She exclaimed. He stared at her calmly, “calm down, Aunt Song. I like Yeun-Ja, not her father. You have nothing to worry about.” He assured.

She shook her head, “you won’t even consider what I say anymore!!!” She accused. He stared at her awkwardly, “because you are not making any sense at all.” He scolded and walked off. Hei, who had been listening from behind a tree, walked over to Principal Song with a scheme plotting expression. “So rebellious eh?” Hei commented. Principal Song turned to her, “Ms. Hei, I am sorry you had to witness that.” She apologized. Hei waved a hand at her, “I’ll help you, if you listen to my instructions.” She offered. Principal Song stared at her and nodded i n eagerness, “how?” She whispered. Hei placed a finger to her lips, “its a secret–” She chimed. She was enjoying every moment of this, she will get her payback with the most inhuman way. She will never forget the pain, the treatment, she received by these girls. She planned to see them each suffer in the most crucial ways. A huge smirk came across her face at the very thought.

The next day, Mun-Hee stood at the gates, bright and early. Yeun-Ja ran across the campus and reached the gates in under five minutes. Mun-Hee stared at her in pure joy, “Yeun-Ja…” He muttered. Principal Song looked away, Chang-Su and the others watched with amusement. “Be sure to write and call.” Mun-Hee reminded. Yeun-Ja nodded mutely, “I promise–” She said breathlessly. The taxi gave a beep outside the gates, Mun-Hee gave a final bow to everyone, “thank you for your audience this week. Jagbyeol.” He bid and turned vanished into the taxi. The taxi pulled away from the gates , Yeun-Ja ran out onto the street and waved after him.

Mun-Hee stared out the back of taxi and waved back frantically. Soon-Yi was sitting on a street curb, staring blankly as the cars going whipped up and down the street. Han Hae-Jin was driving down the street, home from work, the traffic light turned red and he slammed on the breaks, coming to a stop. He gave a yawn and stared out the window, his eyes resting on Soon-Yi who was sitting on the curb, she looked familiar. Where had he seen her before? Suddenly, it poured over him like a bucket of ice, she was with Chang-Su’s family the other day. Horns filled the air behind him, he snapped back into reality and drove off.

He, however, did not go home, but rather parked o n a side street and ran down the streets towards where Soon-Yi was. Soon-Yi’s cell was bloated with messages, the total number was 99. Her tired eyes stared at the last block of battery on her phone, she raised her arm and made and action to throw it. When a hand stopped her, her gaze traveled up to Hae-Jin. Her eyes narrowed menacingly, “who are you?” She asked coldly. He stared at her calmly, “Han Hae-Jin, the doctor.” He answered. She pulled her arm out of his grip, “I don’t need a doctor, scram.” She hissed like a cat. Soon-Yi pushed herself off the curb and wobbled, Her eyes rolled backwards, her body was falling back towards the ground, her consciousness was dying. Hae-Jin caught her in his arms and muttered under his breath in annoyance.

Heaving her into his arms, he carried her towards his car. An IV dripped in silence, hanging next to Soon-Yi’s bed. Hae-Jin was doing tests and checking her condition, she was dehydrated and hadn’t eaten for days. Soon-Yi winched in some sort of pain and stirred slowly, staring at the blank white ceiling. “How do you feel?” Hae-Jin asked. She turned to him slightly, “w-why did you save me?” She whispered tiredly. He pulled up a chair next to her bed, “you were about to die, planned to die. You shouldn’t think like that, life is full of obstacles. You should never give up life for any reason.” He responded.

Soon-Yi shook her head as a single tea fell from her eyes, “you don’t understand–when your parents betray you, you’ll think differently.” She sighed. Hae-Jin had wavy and shaggy hair, a strong face and beard. He let out a laugh, “I was betrayed by my parents in a way, however, life is too short and precious, we need to learn to forgive.” He said gently. Her eyes lingered on him in speechless silence, ” a lot of children, don’t have parents, you are blessed to have parents. Who wish to love and protect you, even if their ways are too intense and unreasonable.” He muttered. She looked away in deep thought, Hae-Jin observed her in complete silence, she finally turned back to him after a moment and muttered a thank you.

Hae-Jin broke into a soft smile and shook his head, holding out a hand to her. “Friends?” He asked. Soon-Yi raised her hand to his, he grabbed it lightly, “friends..” She said in a crackly voice. He grinned and raised a hand at her, “also, I added my number into your cell. If you ever need to talk, just call.” He informed. She nodded happily, a voice came from outside the room, shattering the peace. “I’m her Eommi!! Let me go in!” Came Hei’s voice. Hae-Jin turned to Soon-Yi, “I had to alert your family, be gentle with her alright?” He asked. Soon-Yi gave another nod of her head, he walked over to the door and opened it. Hae stared up at Hae-Jin, he bowed to her politely. “Your daughter is stable, there is nothing to worry about.” He assured.

Hae stared at Hae-Jin in dumbfound, “you–what is your name?” She asked. He gave another bow, “Annyeonghaseyo. I am Han Hae-Jin.” He informed. Hae stumbled back a few steps, “are you alright, madam??” He exclaimed. She nodded, “please excuse me…” Hae said breathlessly and moved past him. Hae-Jin made way and stepped out of the room, turning back to close the door. Soon-Yi stared at him and raised a hand waving at him, he smiled and waved as he closed the door.

Love or to be Loved: Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

“A son’s resolution,

younger brother’s  rebellious act,

a father’s pain,

a new face emerges…”

Chang-Su was in the emergency room of the neurology department for a long time, Jae came running down the hospital corridor. Soon-Yi and her mother were trailing after him with pale faces, “Jae-Hwa!!” Jae boomed in a thunderous voice. He turned to them and stood up from his seat at once, he didn’t know how to explain or even where to begin. “How is Chang-Su?!” His father demanded. Jae-Hwa backed away a few steps and dropped his gaze, “still in the emergency ward.” He informed. Jae paced back and forth and turned to face Jae-Hwa, “how did he end up at the hospital anyway?!” He barked at his son. Jae-Hwa rubbed the back of his neck, keeping up with avoiding his gaze. Jae grabbed Jae-Hwa by the collar and shoved him against the wall roughly, “answer me.” He ordered. “This is all your fault, you’re the reason hyeong is suffering! It’s all because you and your old fashioned ways!” Jae-Hwa retorted, releasing his bottled resentment and anger at once, and shoved his father away from him.

Jae stared at him in stony silence, “Jae-Hwa, don’t you dare speak to your father in such a tone.” Hae snapped. Jae-Hwa stared at her with a murderous gaze in his eyes, “don’t lecture me, I’m not like hyeong. I will not be ordered around by you. You’re not my mother and never will be.” He roared back at her. Jae grabbed Jae-Hwa to face him and slapped him across the face heavily, Jae-Hwa fell back against the wall, holding his cheek. “Sir Kim!!” Hae exclaimed. Jae-Hwa leaned towards his father tauntingly, “hit the other side if you must!” Jae-Hwa sneered, patting his other cheek with a hand lightly. Jae raised an eyebrow at him, obviously provoked, “you think I am afraid to?” He roared and raised his hand again.

“Enough bickering.” Came a deep voice. Everyone turned to see Chang-Su standing in the doorway. Doctor Han walked over to them with a file in his hands, “Annyeonghaseyo. I’m Doctor Han Hae-Jin, your son’s doctor, pleasure to meet you all.” He greeted. Jae paced over to him, “how is my son?” He asked. Doctor Han stared over at Chang-Su and then turned back to Jae, “your son collapsed, due to stress; he needs good rest. Please don’t over pressure him. A nurse will come with his medicine soon, take it easy.” He said patting Chang-Su’s shoulder and walked off. Chang-Su nodded and walked over to others, “I’m fine, sorry for causing everyone to worry about me.” He comforted. Jae-Hwa averted his gaze tiredly, Soon-Yi walked over to Chang-Su and wiped his face with a tissue. “You look so pale, I’ll make some chicken soup for you later.” She assured.

Chang-Su turned away from her and to the others, a nurse came and held out the bottle of medicine to him, “here you are Mr. Kim.” She said and walked off. He took it from her and turned to Jae-Hwa, “let’s go for a ride, Jae-Hwa. Excuse us, Abba.” Chang-Su said and pulled at Jae-Hwa to follow. Jae stared after Chang-Su in worry and turned to face the wall in a moment of remorse. Jae-Hwa stuck his tongue out at them, and followed after Chang-Su, if Chang-Su wasn’t there. He would probably have started a fight with his father. Jae-Hwa pulled onto the street and drove in silence for a moment before speaking, “I don’t understand you, since when have you turned away from Soon-Yi like that?” He asked making a left turn.

Chang-Su stared out the window and sat back in his seat, closing his eyes to rest. “Stop the car.” He ordered. Jae-Hwa stared over at him and muttered under his breath, pulling over to the curb at once. Chang-Su got out of the car and walked into the little park, Jae-Hwa stared out at him and got out of the car, following him. “What’s wrong?” Jae-Hwa asked walking over to him. “Doctor Han says I have a pituitary tumor, if I don’t get treatment now, it many turn into pituitary carcinomas.” Chang-Su said and sat down on the bench. Jae-Hwa stared at him in shock, “why didn’t you tell Abba?! You need treatment right away! Why didn’t the doctor tell us?” He demanded. Chang-Su cupped his hands around his mouth, “I asked the doctor to not tell, I will not get the treatment.” Chang-Su replied. Jae-Hwa grabbed him by the collar, “are you insane?! You would die from this!! What are you doing this for?!” Jae-Hwa asked, grabbing Chang-Su by the shoulders and shook at him. Chang-Su dropped his gaze, “the worst case is blindness. I am doing this to stay by Sakuya, for a while longer.” He muttered sadly. Jae-Hwa’s hands slipped down from Chang-Su’s arms and returned to his side, “you really love her eh? But, you are the reason she left! Do you want her to see you like this?” He asked.

Chang-Su closed his eyes wearily, “Even I don’t know anymore.” He asked. Chang-Su took a deep breath, “four years at the most, three is what the doctor believes.” He said. Jae-Hwa rolled his eyes in disbelief and irritation, “do you have a resolution clear in mind?” He managed to ask in a calm tone. Chang-Su stared up at him and nodded determinedly, Jae-Hwa was slightly relieved, “that’s what I need to know hyeong. I will stand by you unconditionally to the very end in this.” He promised. Chang-Su grabbed his brother’s hands and squeezes it tightly. Jae sat in his office, staring out the window in anger, Hae walked into his office; holding a cup of tea in her hand. She rested it on the table, “don’t stress yourself, have some tea. Our children are all grown up, a lot of situations, aren’t up to us to have the say anymore.” She reasoned. He shook his head, “they are my sons, I will have them obey, their duty is to inherit my work, and wishes.” He said angrily through gritted teeth. Hae stared down at him, “that arrogance of yours–will cause your sons to leave you one day. Have you forgotten, about what happened to Taehwa? It was because of you, I am warning you to not repeat the same mistake, as your friend.” She muttered.

A crash was heard outside the office, they both turned to see Soon-Yi standing in the doorway. Jae stood up slowly, “Soon-Yi–“ He started in shock. Soon-Yi shook her head frantically as tears flowed down her cheeks, ”no, it can’t be true.” She stammered dumbfounded and ran off. “Soon-Yi!” Hae yelled and darted after her. Jae knocked the cup off the table in frustration and fell into his chair as a single tear fell from his eye. Soon-Yi sat on the stairs sobbing at the top of her lungs, Hae sat down next to her, “my poor daughter.” She whispered, wrapping an arm around her. Soon-Yi narrowed his eyes and shrugged free of her arm and stood up slowly, “you knew about it?! You lied to me all these years?!” She exclaimed. Hae averted her eyes at once, “it was the best for you, to not know.” She finally managed to say. Soon-Yi backed away, “Eommi, how are you different from Kim Jae?” She yelled in a crackly voice and sprinted down the stairs.

Hae stared after her and cupped a hand over her mouth in vain, “you’re here, young man, Winners Dance School.” The taxi man informed. “Thank you, so much for your service sir.” The man said and stepped out of the taxi. He stared up at the gates, he had on baggy pants and a T-shirt. His hair was shaggy, but he had a handsome face and a thin beard as well. He was Lee Mun-Hee, nephew of principal song and was here to visit for a week. A parent’s pain, when their children turn away from them is similar to the end of the world. How would a child understand their parents motives?

To Love or to be Loved: Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

“When two hears are deeply entwined,

nothing else would matter. However, would you choose

the one you love over your best friend?”

It was growing darker and darker outside, I refused to return to the dorms; a faint voice arose in my eardrums.  Frowning slightly, I turned to see a shadow walking towards me, I wanted to hide that was my first instinct. Despite how I screamed and dreaded to leave in my brain, my body wouldn’t move even an inch. Jae-Hwa walked over to me, my eyes scanned around his surroundings; double checking that no one had followed him. “Aren’t you cold?’ He finally asked. I shook my head in silence, he sat down next to her, “I thought you would put up more of a fight. Don’t you love my older brother, or did our father manage to scare you silly.” He teased. My eyes narrowed with anger, my hands clenched at my dress without my realization, “I’m not easily frightened, I am angry because Chang-Su didn’t even try to defend me. I am beginning to question his feelings for me seriously.” I said in a soft voice.

Jae-Hwa burst into laughter, “my brother fears our father, he is a very obedient puppy. Because he is the heir, and the greatest chess piece of  our father’s game board. His duty is live and obey the will of his father, no on can change that fate for Chang-Su.” He explained. I stood up abruptly, Jae-Hwa stared at her in slight shock, “Sakuya–?” He asked uneasily. My eyes were at unease, they darted back and forth around the area in front of me, “I want to take a four month break from the school.” I announced in a calm tone. Jae-Hwa was in astonishment at her words, standing up slowly as well, “Now, don’t do anything reckless or irrational, Sakuya.” He reasoned. I gave a small smirk at him, “I’m tired, I long for my mother and Tokyo’s peacefulness. I want to rest…really rest and rest my mind…” I said in a stammering voice with a hint of happiness.

He stared at her in suspicion, I shoved at him roughly, “it wouldn’t be a problem right? You’re the assistant director after all.” I teased in a playful tone. He rolled his eyes at me, “using me, are you?” He confronted. I gave him my most innocent expression possible, he raised his hands in submission. “Okay, you win. I’ll do it for you, but only four months, promise?” He asked holding up his pinky finger. I fought back tears, and held myself back from falling into his arms. Raising my pink to his, I wrapped mine around softly, he tugged at our pinkies hardly, and we broke into laughter. After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat, “when do you plan on leaving?” He asked.

“Tomorrow night.” I answered after a moment of hesitation. I had already called the airlines in the morning, after Chang-Su came to see me. I had a feeling that a tragedy would occur, I wanted to prepared for any outcome possible; I would rather think of the baddest possible outcome, before the good one. It turned out that I made the right decision this time, though my heart ached terribly. Jae-Hwa glared at me in disbelief, “are you in a hurry to run away from us? Are we really that scary?” He teased. I elbowed at him and forced a smile, “mmhmm.” was all I managed to grunt. The parents left a little after 10 PM, after parting ways with Jae-Hwa; I headed back to the dorms in low spirits.

As soon as I opened the doors to the dorm, Dae ran over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Sakuya, are you alright?!” She exclaimed. Slightly surprised at her action, I have a silent nod and hugged at her softly. We pulled away from each other, I stared at the others and then back at Dae; this was the best time to tell them. “Everyone, I am leaving tomorrow back to Tokyo. I want to take a nice long break.” I informed. Chun-Ja walked over to us in bewilderment, “no way, Sakuya-Ssi is it because of a certain person?” She asked adding a resentful tone at the end of the sentence. Soon-Yi, who was sitting on the couch seemed to grow rigid in her seat. I stared at Soon-Yi’s back, and broke into a smile, “No! Why would you think that? I miss my mother, that’s all.” I said calmly.

Soon-Yi stood up and walked over to me, the other girls moved away as she came closer. “How long will you been gone, Sakuya?” She asked in a calm tone. I tried to meet her gaze with mine, but it was fairly difficult to do so, “four months.” I answered in a low voice. Soon-Yi’s eyes widened at the words, she seemed speechlessly; I maintained my calm smile. My insides were doing flip-flops and I was on the edge of tears and wanted to scream, “Jagbyeol.” I mumbled and ran past them, up the stairs. That night, I couldn’t sleep at all, I lost count of how many times, I rolled around on the bed. Lost count of how many times the clock ticked, my eyes remained wide open with red veins showing. My mind kept replaying the moments, I shared with everyone and the emotions of how it felt to love someone and be loved in return, even if it was painfully short.

Sunlight shone through the windows in the morning, the dress Chang-Su gave me was folded neatly box in the box. I had to return it to him, no matter how hard it would to see him again, after last night. Chang-Su sat on the stage in dead silence, Jae-Hwa had already informed him about Sakuya’s plan last night; however, he didn’t know what to do anymore, his headache was getting worse. I walked down the stairs with the box in one hand and my suitcase in the other. My eyes fell on the lounge, as laughter and tears echoed in my ears. So much had happened here, I couldn’t help but feel that, I was already attached too deep to this place. I made my way to the auditorium, my gaze locked on the heavy doors, I raised my hand but stopped. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t open the doors and face Chang-Su. If I saw him, I would probably lose control and hug him, a smile formed over my mouth, I rested the box down in front of the doors.

“Goodbye, Chang-Su Oppa.” I muttered and turned picking up pace, heading towards the gates with my suitcase. Now that I think back, my silhouette was lonely and depressing. Chang-Su raised his head to the doors, he felt a shred of parting pain in his chest, “Sakuya?” He muttered. I lied, my flight was at 1 PM, I didn’t want to say goodbyes or have sad moments; there was already too many of those in my opinion. As I sat in the taxi leading me towards the airport, I rested my head against the window, staring out at the streets. For some reason, Seoul seemed so much more different, than when I first arrived, letting out a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes to rest. Jae-Hwa stared at the box before the auditorium doors, frowning he picked it up slowly, tilting the lid, his eyes widened at what he saw.

He pushed open the doors, calling for Chang-Su as he ran down the ramp with the box in hand. Chang-Su, who hadn’t moved an inch for hours, stared over at him in disdain, “Sakuya left this box outside.” Jae-Hwa said holding the box out to him. Chang-Su hesitated for a moment and took the box from him, pulling off the lid, there was an envelope on top of the dress. He raised a shaking hand to the envelope, and pulled the letter out slowly:

Chang-Su,

This is goodbye, I know I won’t be able to even face you again. Please allow me sometime to relax, this dress will look better on Soon-Yi than me. I lied to everyone, my plane leaves at 1 PM, I loved you so much and always will. See you in four months, even though you caused me to lose hope and trust in you. I will always have a shred of trust in you, no matter what you do…always.

~Sakuya.”

The paper was dried with tears, there were bumps all over the paper. “Airport now!” Chang-Su exclaimed. Jae-Hwa shuddered slightly at his sudden outburst, “what?!” He asked at a complete loss. “I’ll explain on the way.” Chang-Su said breathlessly, running past him. Jae-Hwa sighed and ran after him quickly, I sat in the waiting area, waiting for the boarding call. “I’m coming home…Okasan.” I said in a low voice and sighed happily. Jae-Hwa pressed down harder on the gas pedal, changing lanes recklessly to race against the remaining time on the clock. “She fooled everyone, how could she do this?” Jae-Hwa growled in irritation. Chang-Su held his forehead with a hand, “this is all my fault, I am to blame.” He sighed.

Jae-Hwa shifted his glance over to Chang-Su, “if I know you were so useless, I wouldn’t have let Sakuya be with you.” He spat and shifted his attention back to the road. Chang-Su’s cell begun to rung, he pulled it out and tossed it into the back seat. “You’re not going to answer?” Jae-Hwa asked in surprise. Chang-Su hesitated for a moment, “No.” He answered. The clock struck 12:30 PM, half an hour left to go, I let out another sigh and cuddled  my messenger bag in my arms. Jae-Hwa and Chang-Su raced through the sliding doors and looked around the airport urgently. “She should be in the waiting area.” Jae-Hwa reasoned. Chang-Su ran over to the tourist leader and snatched the microphone from their hands, he turned to face the wide airport.

“Sakuya Suzuki!!! Show yourself, do you think you can run away like this?!” Chang-Su yelled into the microphone frantically. I listened to the booming voice and ran over to the rail, staring down below to see Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa. Chang-Su’s eyes settled on me, “there!” He yelled. Jae-Hwa followed his gaze and stared up at me, “Sakuya!” He yelled and sprinted towards the elevator. I backed away from the rail and turned running off, I couldn’t see either of them, I wasn’t ready; I ran wherever my legs would take me. A hand clasped down on my shoulder, I turned to see Chang-Su less than an inch from me. He was out of breath, “You–” I started. He pulled me to him and kissed me firmly on the lips, my eyes widened staring at him.

I had to remain logic, I couldn’t surrender to this man again for the sake of Soon-Yi. Therefore, I began to slap at him and shove at him, until it finally worked; I slapped him across the face in my moment of anger and haste. Jae-Hwa stood a few feet away, watching in utter silence, “you’re making this harder on me. I love you, but I can’t have you. Because Soon-Yi is my best friend, and your fiance. If I could have chosen again, I would rather choose that I never met you.” I said in a single breath. Chang-Su stared at me in astonished silence, I raised my eyes to him after a moment, I had to hold back my tears with all the energy in my body.

“Please take care of Soon-Yi, you owe that to me, her and yourself. That’s all I require of you right now.” I muttered in a hushed voice.

“Passengers for flight 1039 from Seoul

to Tokyo, please board at Gate 6 right away.”

I picked up my bag, bowing to Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa politely, “Jagbyeol.” I said in a calm voice and walked past Chang-Su without another glance. Chang-Su turned towards me, “please take care.” He muttered. Although, I heard perfectly clear, I pretended I didn’t hear and went into the gates with the flow of the passengers. Jae-Hwa walked towards Chang-Su slowly, Chang-Su swayed sideways and collapsed onto the ground unconscious. “Hyeong?!” Jae-Hwa yelled frantically shaking him. I sat down in my assigned seat, my cell suddenly rung, I was surprised and flipped it open.

“Annyeonghaseyo.” I greeted. “Sakuya, Chang-Su’s fainted! Come quickly!” Jae-Hwa yelled into the phone. I stood up at once, a flight attendant stopped me with a hand, “sorry you can’t leave the plane, we are about to take off.” She informed. I cursed under my breath and held the phone to my ear, “Jae-Hwa, I can’t get off the plane.” I exclaimed. Jae-Hwa closed his eyes, “It’s alright then, I’ll keep an eye on him.” He answered. I gave an urgent nod, “Call me later.” I muttered and hung up, slumping into my seat. My hands cupped together to pray, “Chang-Su…please be okay.” I sighed sadly. Jae-Hwa sat in the ambulance with Chang-Su, “Chang-Su hyeong–” He muttered. My body was going back to Tokyo; however, my heart and mind was lingering on Chang-Su. I hoped he could live for a long time and never be in pain. That was the most restless plane flight back to Tokyo, that I ever experienced.

Love or to Be Loved: Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

“A parent’s opinion changes everything,

their decision weighs heavily on the hearts

of their children…”

“Please enjoy some tea, Abba.” Chang-Su said placing a cup before Jae. Jae-Hwa was sitting next to his father in silence, Jae nodded and sipped tea elegantly. “Chang-Su, you know my true purpose, of why I came right? You’ve put off your engagement for so long. It’s time to start a family, don’t you agree?” He asked. Jae-Hwa stole a glance at Chang-Su and poured more tea for his father. Chang-Su bowed his head, “yes, Abba. I am perfectly clear on your reason. However, I already have someone, you shall meet her tonight.” He said. Jae-Hwa, who was holding his own cup of tea, his hand gave a jolt and spilled tea over himself. Jae raised an eyebrow, staring over at Jae-Hwa in disgust and irritation. Jae turned away from him and picked up his tea and took a sip, “oh really? A staff member of the school?” He asked. Chang-Su dropped his gaze to the floor and shook his head, “No, a student.” He answered politely. Jae observed Chang-Su intensively, “surname?” He asked, after a moment of hesitation. “Suzuki.” Chang-Su answered. Jae-Hwa dropped his gaze to the ground, waiting for their father to explode. “She is the Japanese girl?” Jae asked after another moment.

“Yes, Abba.” Chang-Su answered in a mechanically voice. Jae’s hand balled into a fist under the table, “how old is she?” He asked after a moment. “Eighteen.” Chang-Su informed. “How can you be so honest, hyeong?!” Jae-Hwa mouthed at Chang-Su in agony and outrage. Jae placed down his cup of tea, “let us see tonight.” He said and opened a book and begun to read. After a moment, Jae raised his eyes to both of his sons, “mm? you both are free to leave, I want to join the other parents in reception. See you all tonight.” He said motioning them to leave. Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa bowed at their father and turned leaving in silence. Jae stared after them in silence, he turned away in anger, which he couldn’t let out. The girls woke up around noon, we helped each other with our hair and makeup. Laughter and giggling consumed the air, who would have known, what would happen in a few hours from now. When we were done with out hair and make up, our dresses laid out on the couch in a row. There was Chun-Ja’s charcoal grey halter dress, Soon-Yi’s red ruffles lolita dress, Dae’s pink strapless gown, Yeun-Ja’s little black dress and my sky blue elegant lolita dress. We smiled at each other and changed into our dresses, Soon-Yi was helping me tie the strings. Her eyes lingered on the necklace upon my neck. I followed her gaze and flushed red at once, “that is a beautiful necklace.” She commented.

“Thanks.” I mumbled. We exchanged embarrassed gazes with each other, I felt Soon-Yi already knew what the relationship was between Chang-Su and I. “Are you out of your mind?! You told Abba everything at once?! Did you see his face color?! You can only imagine what will happen tonight! It’s going to be a massacre! I can’t even begin to comprehend the outcome.” Jae-Hwa exclaimed. Chang-Su took a deep breath, “I believe Abba–” Chang-Su started. “Abba is the most prejudice and selfish man, I ever met.” Jae-Hwa spat. Chang-Su looked away, “…If anything happens, I hope I can count on you tonight.” He said. Jae-Hwa stared at him in irritation, “she is your girlfriend, why are you pushing me forward?!  You can’t even protect her?! Then, what right do you have to have her?! Now…wait a moment!” He sputtered. Chang-Su let out a chuckle, “you will protect her right?” Chang-Su asked.

Jae-Hwa stared at him in bewilderment, “isn’t that your responsibility?” He asked. Chang-Su leaned against the tree and let out a sigh, “because I am frightened, I am father’s oldest son. I have other responsibilities…I can’t.” He sighed. Jae-Hwa was about to reply, when his cell rung, he turned away and answered, “yes–the ball is in one hour. Don’t worry about what I am wearing.” Jae-Hwa hissed into the phone. Chang-Su shook his head and walked off smiling, Dae giggled into the phone, “alright, then come pick me up soon.” She chimed and hung up. I sat next to Soon-Yi on the couch in silence, my thoughts were flying off to other places already, my cell suddenly rung. “Annyeonghaseyo.” I greeted and stood up. “Can you out for a moment? I want to see you.” came Chang-Su’s on the other end. “Where are you?” I asked. “…In the back of the dorm building.” He answered.

I excused myself from the group and walked around to the back of the building. Chang-Su stared at me, I bowed at him politely, he walked over to me. “You look stunning.” He breathed. I blushed deeply, he took my hands slowly, my hair was straightened and had a matching hairband. “May–I hug you once more?” He asked. I frowned at him, “you are sounding like, this is our last day together.” I said uneasily and moved away. He broke into a sad smile, “silly girl.” He teased. “I-I trust you.” I said. Chang-Su pulled me forward into a hug, “I love you, no matter what happens.” He whispered. I nodded in silence, though I had a feeling something was wrong with him. “You promised to tell me everything, is something bothering you?” I asked finally. Chang-Su’s grip tightened around me, there was no way he could tell her. “Nothing, it’s nothing.” He said. At that moment, I begun to grow wearily of him, keeping to himself. But, I loved him so much, I didn’t mind at all. He pulled away from me, “see you at the ball.” He said. I nodded at him, he gripped my hand tightly and then walked off. I stared after his lonely looking back and couldn’t help, but want to run after him.

“Sakuya?!” Voices called from inside the dorm, forced me to turn back. If only I had ignored the voices, and chose to run after Chang-Su, things may have turned out differently. Music was playing in the auditorium as the guests started to arrive, the usually empty rows of seats were being filled up by every passing minute. The five of us were standing behind the curtains, Chang-Su was standing next to Soon-Yi in stony silence. Jae-Hwa was walking around the rows of seats, trying to avoid Hei. Gyong-Si stared at them and scowled, “that’s enough, the both of you!” He snapped. Jae-Hwa slid into the seat next to his father, Hei sat on the other side of Jae happily. The principal tapped the microphone nervously, “Welcome, Annyeonghaseyo. It’s a pleasure for you all to come to our school, I present to you, the swing dance performance, led by Instructor Kim!” She informed and applauded happily, moving off the stage. The curtains were rolled up, revealing us in formation, Chang-Su led Soon-Yi along as the rest of us followed in perfect coordination. Jae observed the dance from his seat in interest, “Jae-Hwa, which girl is it?” He asked. Jae-Hwa stared at his father, and decided to play dumb, “which girl?” He asked uneasily.

“Sakuya Suzuki.” His father reminded. Jae-Hwa’s gaze dropped at once, Hei smirked over at him and leaned over to Jae. “Sir, it’s the one in the blue and white dress.” She whispered. Jae-Hwa raised his gaze to Hei in fiery and hate, she winked at him and looked away. Jae’s eyes followed Sakuya around the stage, I felt the uneasiness of eyes on me; however, I couldn’t do anything and endured it. The dance concluded, we all gave elegant bows to the audience as they applauded in joy. The curtains were fallen down, marking the end; the principal walked up to the stage and bowed. “Thank you for that amazing performance, now we’ll have the reception opening message from Sir Kim Jae.” She announced. Jae stood up and made his way over to the microphone, “I am Kim Jae, it’s an honor to be here, please feel free to enjoy the refreshments and company, thank you very much.” He finished as the curtains rose up. Revealing tables of refreshment and flower bouquets around the tables. “Help yourselves!” Jae called. Everyone stared moving around towards the food.

I held a glass of juice and sipped at it politely, listening to Chun-Ja talk with Yeun-Ja. Dae stood with Jae-Hwa, trying to engage him in conversation. Jae nodded at Soon-Yi in joy, “you’ve become so beautiful, Soon-Yi.” He commented. Soon-Yi blushed beet red, “thank you for your kind words, Sir.” She said politely. Chang-Su wasn’t paying attention to them at all, Hae walked over to them and patted Soon-Yi’s shoulder. She turned to her mother and broke into a wide smile, “Eommi!!!” She exclaimed and hugged her mother tightly. Seeing everyone with their parents, caused me to suddenly think of my own mother. I started to wonder how she was doing in Tokyo and was she taking care of herself. Soon-Yi turned to me and waved frantically for me to  come over; I blinked at her in shock. It seemed like an unavoidable matter, I walked over to them slowly trying to encourage myself. Chang-Su stared at him calmly, I gave a polite bow, “Annyeonghaseyo. I’m Sakuya Suzuki, a pleasure to meet everyone.” I greeted in a warm tone.

Jae averted his gaze from me at once, Soon-Yi wrapped a hand around my arm happily. “She is my best friend here, a sisterly figure you could say.” She introduced in a cheerful tone. “A sister–should know her place, and not be such an insolent girl before us. We, Koreans dislike our children engaging with other nationalities. Such as our families, with such high ranks in society and business; do not allow such lowly children to taint our names with their impurity.” Jae said in an icy tone. My face was burning up, “Uncle Kim…” Soon-Yi started in confusion and uneasiness. Jae shifted his gaze onto me finally, giving a sweeping gaze, “you obviously have talent, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Blame yourself for being born into the wrong family. How dare you set eyes on my son, a piece of trash like you. Your father died when you were two years old, your mother is working in a bakery. You were beaten brutally at the age of twelve, by a classmate. That is why you trained in self-defense, a year later; you knocked that classmate’s teeth out. Must I continue?” He scoffed. My hands clenched into fists, I was on the edge of karate chopping this man until  he begged for mercy.

“Shut up, what do you know? Don’t trust everything, that is written on paper. What are you trying to say?” I asked in a cold tone. Jae narrowed his eyes sharply at me, “Chang-Su and Soon-Yi will be engaged, if you don’t stay away from my son, I’ll have you expelled.” He threatened. The entire room went deadly quiet, Soon-Yi stared over at Chang-Su; Chang-Su stared over at me with a horrified expression. I sneered at him, “a high ranked figure in society, taking such drastic action for a girl like me. Hmph, should I feel honored?” I teased in a mocking tone. Jae’s expression turned from pleasure to astonishment, “Don’t you dare toy with me, you lowly born child. Return the necklace of Sharon to me.” He ordered. I took a deep breath, I knew this would be what he was after, I tugged the necklace off my neck roughly,”You want it? Fine, I don’t want anything to do with rich people like yourselves.” I retorted and threw the necklace to the ground in anger. No one dared to move an inch, I turned to leave; as the principal moved forward blocking my way. I glared at her long and hard, she flinched slightly at the killing intent, erupting from my body. “I didn’t say you could leave, you’re to watch Chang-Su put the family necklace upon Soon-Yi’s neck.” Jae informed with mockery in his voice.

I was in great pain and anger at the same time, I wanted to cry, scream and pout with all my might. But, I forced myself to turn back to them with a straight face. “Everyone has a bottom line, don’t try me…” I muttered. Jae walked over to me slowly, grabbing my arm with an iron grasp. “I want you to see with your own eyes, at what true love is and give you a sense of closure.” He taunted. I winced at the grasp and at his words in disgust, Jae turned to Chang-Su, “Chang-Su…place the necklace upon the neck of the rightful wife of the Kim family.” He ordered. Hei moved forward and picked up the necklace, holding it out to Chang-Su with a smirk upon her face. Chang-Su’s eyes were glued onto me; Hei stared up at him and gave a nudge. He took the necklace from her without taking  his eyes off me. Hae pushed Soon-Yi over to him, “Eommi–I–!” Soon-Yi started helplessly. Her mother scowled at her, “Silence, this is the greatest blessing, you could ever wish for.” Her mother hissed.

“Listen to your mother, Soon-Yi-Ssi. The woman who deserves to stand by Kim Seonsaong’s side is you. No one can take your place.” Hei said clearly and loudly on purpose. Jae-Hwa was staring over at Sakuya, during the entire time of the event. Jae stared at Chang-Su and moved forward, while still grabbing my arm. “Put it on her right now.” He said in a forceful tone. Chang-Su gulped and turned to Soon-Yi, she stared at him with a horror stricken face. She turned her attention onto me, she didn’t want to hurt her best friend, but she couldn’t refuse or disobey her mother’s wish. He leaned over to her and placed the necklace upon her neck; applause filled the air. I turned, swiping my arm out of Jae’s grasp and ran past the principal; heading  up the ramp without looking back. Jae-Hwa stared after her, and then shifted his gaze onto his brother. He couldn’t keep the anger bottled inside him anymore, “I can’t believe you, you’re such a despicable man, you are a disgrace to the world of men. You’re obeying him?! This was your plan?!” He yelled.

Chang-Su dropped his gaze to the ground, “loving someone, doesn’t mean we have to have them. As long as we see them, it’s enough.” Chang-Su said simply. Jae-Hwa hissed in irritation and pushed past them, running after Sakuya without another word. I sat under my favorite tree on the campus, it was mid-August; however, there was still a taint of humidity in the air. No one would be able to find me here, I believed that, and so I allowed my tears to flow down my face. I haven’t cried like this in over six years, the last time I cried like this, was when I got beaten in a Kendo competition. My heart felt like someone had stabbed, or squeezed my heart until it was about to burst. I was abandoned once again by a man, I loved. I couldn’t accept the fact; when I was abandoned by Ichiro, it didn’t hurt this much. I started to believe; I had truly fallen deeply in love with Chang-Su. I let out a pained sigh and rested my head on the trunk of the tree. I felt so tired, I wanted to take a break and relax, to step away for just a short moment, would be good.

Yeun-Ja was sitting at the end of a row, mixing two types of liquor together. Her father made his way over to her, and sat down next to her, she stared at him from the corner of her eye. “Yeun-Ja…” He started. She turned away from him and sipped at her drink, letting out a sigh. Bong-Hwa stared at her and observed the dress she was wearing, “you’re wearing the dress, your mother left behind.” He said. She stood up abruptly and splashed her entire cup of liquor in his face, “don’t you dare mention her name with your dirty mouth. Don’t think I’ll forget, you are the reason, mother died. I will never forget that.” She  hissed and walked off without looking back at him. Bong-Hwa wiped his face with a hand and let out a sad sigh. Dae sat with Chun-Ja on the stairs, “Ah, this turned out bad, didn’t it?” Dae hiccuped. Chun-Ja nodded in agreement without a word, Chang-Su and Soon-Yi sat at the table together in awkward silence.

“Do you want another drink?” He asked after a moment. Soon-Yi shook her head frantically, Chang-Su stood up abruptly, she raised her head up towards him. Jae glared at him aggressively from across the stage, Chang-Su stared at him and succumbed, slumping back into his seat. A sharp pain pierced into his head, he winced in pain and closed his eyes. Soon-Yi stared at her, “are you alright, Chang-Su?” She asked. He turned towards her, “don’t call me, by that name.” He said in a cold tone. Soon-Yi lowered her head in shame and looked away. Yeun-Ja stood behind Dae and Chun-Ja with another mixed liquor drink in her hand, “who’s side are you on?” Chun-Ja asked, nudging Dae curiously. Dae stared at the scene lazily eyed and hiccuped again, “Mm, Sakuya all the way!” She cheered. Chun-Ja nodded and tilted her head, staring up at Yeun-Ja. “What about you, Yeun-Ja?” She asked. Yeun-Ja’s head bobbed up and down, “I follow DaeDae’s lead.” She answered and spun around on the spot. Chun-Ja let out a small sigh, “I guess I have no choice, but to follow you girls then. To be honest…I think Sakuya and Chang-Su make the cuter couple.” She said softly and massaged her neck.

Jae-Hwa ran around the campus helplessly, his mind kept replaying Sakuya’s words and expressions. He was worried, that she would do something reckless, “Sakuya!!!!!!!! Don’t scare me like this!!!!” He yelled into the darkened campus grounds.

Love or to be Loved: Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

“We learn to trust

the one we love,

through our hearts…”

After the servant left, we continued to chatter about what happened, “The Kim family is the biggest fashion business in South Korea. The CEO is Kim Seonsaong and Pak Jae-Hwa’s father. They have over forth maids and servants.” Dae chirped. “Lies, then why are his sons, not working for their father?” Yeun-Ja asked. “Because they are rebels, and wanted more time to do what they want.” Soon-Yi answered. I turned to her in shock, she nodded in silence, it was then, that I realized how little, I knew about Chang-Su. How could I say, that I loved him, if I didn’t know everything about him. Chang-Su came into the room, “all of you are dismissed for today, I have to do something.” He announced and ran up the stairs out of sight. Yeun-Ja let out a yawn, “must be something urgent. let’s go get some sleep.” She groaned. Dae cheered, I patted her on the shoulder, Soon-Yi turned to me, “let’s go.” She said happily. I shook my head, “go ahead of me…” I said. Soon-Yi squeezed my arm, and gave an encouraging nod, and followed the other girls up the stairs.

I stared at the dance studio in the silence, “….” I had to be strong, to be prepared for anything, but could I really? I sat on the bench in silence, waiting for Chang-Su to come back. I rested my head on my arms and closed my eyes to rest, Chang-Su knocked on the assistant director’s door frantically and stood back, waiting for an answer from the other side. “Who is it?” Came Jae-Hwa’s voice from the other side. Chang-Su didn’t answer, Jae-Hwa grumbled and placed his pen down. He opened the door and stared at Chang-Su in surprise. “Chang-Su hyeong–is class already over?” Jae-Hwa asked in surprise, staring up and down the hall. “There is bad news.” Chang-Su finally said. Jae-Hwa leaned against the doorway, “which is it?” He asked. “Abba.” Chang-Su said simply. Jae-Hwa’s face became clouded, and motioned him inside quickly. “Oh? I understand now, Soon-Yi and Sakuya. What will hyeong do?” Jae-Hwa teased. Chang-Su sat back in  his seat, and let out a sigh, “you must have a solution, Jae-Hwa.” He said.

Jae-Hwa tossed a paper ball into the trashcan, “elope with Sakuya.” He stated flatly. Chang-Su looked away in frustration, “isn’t this useless blabbering? Forget it.” He said and turned to leave. A sharp jolt, ran through his head, he clung onto the desk and fell to his knees. Jae-Hwa walked over to him, “are you alright?” He asked in shock. Chang-Su’s vision blurred for a moment, before focusing once more. “Mm, I just been overworked…goodbye.” Chang-Su grunted and stood up, leaving out the door. I fell asleep on the bench, Chang-Su hadn’t called me yet, my eyes lingered on the cell on the floor in silence, just waiting for it to ring. Suddenly, it did and I answered it at once, my spirits lightened at once. “Chang-Su?” I answered eagerly. There was a silence on the other end of the line, “it’s me, Sakuya…”Jae-Hwa finally said. My heart calmed down, “Jae-Hwa, what is it?” I asked, trying to not sound disappointed.

“Do you have time? Meet in the cafeteria in ten minutes?” He asked. My eyes flew to the clock on the wall, it struck 9 PM, hesitating for a moment, I agreed to the request and hung up. Jae-Hwa sat in the cafeteria with a pot of tea on the table, I pushed open the heavy doors and went inside. Jae-Hwa waved over at me and stood up, I walked over to him. He seemed to have loss a little weight and seemed quite pale. I bowed politely and sat down across from him, he gave a smile, glad to see that she was looking well. “You seem to be doing well.” He commented. My lip quivered at how vague his tone was, “you seem a little pale.” I teased. He raised a hand to his face, “really?” He asked. There was awkward silence between us, he finally cleared his throat. “Our father is coming on Friday, and he wanted to announce the engagement of Chang-Su and Soon-Yi.” He informed. The words gave me frostbite, I couldn’t utter a single word from my mouth, although a thousand words clouded my heart. Jae-Hwa moved forward in his seat, “I suppose the reason, Chang-Su hyeong has been avoiding you today. He doesn’t know how to face you, he is trying to settle this on  his own.” He explained.

I stared down at my hands, which were resting on my lap, “that idiot–” I muttered. Jae-Hwa gave a chuckle, “don’t say that, he doesn’t want you to worry. That is the kind of man he is, unlike me.” He sighed. I stared over at him, “he needs to learn from you then.” I said in determination. Jae-Hwa burst into laughter, and then resumed his composure, “go find him–Sakuya-Ssi.” He said calmly. I stood up abruptly, “thank you, Jae-Hwa.” I thanked. He sat back and waved a hand, “we’re best friends right?” He asked. My gaze lingered on him, “right.” I answered, bowing and ran off. Jae-Hwa stared at the ceiling, “best friends-eh?” He muttered and let out a depressed sigh. I ran across the campus with tears in my eyes, “that idiotic man…helpless!” I cursed under my breath. Picking up pace, I sprinted into the auditorium, it was darkened and gave an eerie feeling.

Making my way down the ramp and up the stairs onto the stage, my eyes pinned to the ground where we spent nights together. Just sitting around and joking, talking carelessly. I took a deep breath, and went to the backstage, it was equally dim; however, I saw a light come from the offices. My legs walked towards it slowly and stopped in front of the door, I raised my hand to the door and knocked twice lightly. Chang-Su stared up from folders and walked over to the door, opening it. He stared down at me with tired eyes and a worried expression covered his usual serious face. I stared up at him in silence, our eyes seemed to exchange a thousand words, he grabbed my arm and pulled me forward into an embrace. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “I’m sorry.” He muttered. I shook my head, “please do tell me, what is on your mind from now on. I am your girlfriend, I should be able to take weight off your shoulders and not add to the weight.” I said softly.

Chang-Su pulled away from me, I pulled the necklace he gave me, out from under my vest. “No matter what…I won’t let you go. Because of this promise, you gave to me.” I said softly. Chang-Su took my hand with self-confidence, “tonight, I will tell you everything of my life.” He said. We sat down on the bench outside his office.

“My father Kim Jae is a great man, he met my mother when she was 22. Her part-time job was a waitress at a restaurant, he would eat there everyday, just to be able to see her once. Soon after, they begun a relationship; however, my grandfather believed she was unsuitable for my father. They fought against my grandfather’s will, eventually my grandfather acknowledged them. Soon, I was born, my father loved me, however men were all greedy. They loved to taste other women and their flavors, he got bored of my mother and begun to go to night clubs, after a few years of peaceful life. My met Jae-Hwa’s mother, a divorced woman with seductive beauty, she already had a newborn baby. But my father desired her money and beauty.

My mother was pregnant again at the time, that woman told my father to divorce my mother. He obeyed and told my mother, he wanted to get divorced. My mother begged him to not to, I begged my father as well. He didn’t listen and refused to listen to reasons, he didn’t know my mother was pregnant again. My mother because of the shock he gave her, she got a miscarriage, and died in the hospital soon afterwards. My father regretted what did, my mother was only 29 years old. But, after that woman came into the family. She died of a heart attack, and left Jae-Hwa to us. That is why after we were both grown up, we both refused to help with the family business.”

Chang-Su finished. I was in plain shock, at what he told me; I took his hand slowly and cupped it in mine. “We will face whatever comes, together.” I promised. At some point, the both of us fell asleep on the bench, the morning sunlight shone through the windows. My cellphone’s alarm went off, my head fell downwards and I snapped awake. I looked around and stretched, I turned to Chang-Su. “Hey wake up, sleepy head. It’s 7 AM.” I yawned. Chang-Su groaned and opened his eyes sitting up, “mm?” He groaned. “See you in class, Kim Seonsaong.” I teased and turned to leave. He grabbed my arm, pulling me back to him, “what did you call me?” He asked. I was less than an inch from him, he stared at me; my heart was pounding against my chest, as he leaned closer to me. “Your breath stinks.” I answered and yawned my arm free, running off. Chang-Su blinked several times, “what did you just say?” He called after her and broke into a smile.

I couldn’t stop laughing at what I said to him, I didn’t deny how scared I felt, when he was so close to me. I suddenly remembered, when Jae-Hwa kissed me, I raised my hand and shook my head. Upon entering the dorms, Soon-Yi was sitting in the lounge, “Soon-Yi-Ssi.” I exclaimed. She turned to me, running over to him with a face full of concern. “You weren’t in my your room, when I went to call you. Are you alright?!” She asked hugging me tightly. My body tensed under her touch, what if she recognizes Chang-Su’s scent?! Soon-Yi’s eyes narrowed at the scent, coming from her body, she recognized the smell so well, and when she pulled away; her eyes fell on the necklace upon Sakuya’s neck. I stared at her in confusion, “Soon-Yi-Ssi?” I asked. Soon-Yi snapped back into reality, “ah, go up and shower, class starts soon.” She said in a desperate tone. I nodded mechanically and went up the stairs in awkwardness. Soon-Yi stared after her in silence, and sat down once more on the couch. Chang-Su stared at the girls, “today is the day, where we try the swing dance once more. Then, we’ll discuss on how everything will be done tomorrow.” He informed.

I gave him a stare, he stared at me and cleared his throat, “I apologize for yesterday, I had family matters to tend to.” He said bowing. “It’s fine.” Voices chimed in unison. He grinned at us, clapping his hands, “let us get started then.” He announced. We returned to our assigned places and continued practicing the T formation dance. After three hours of practicing, we settled down on the benches, Chang-Su nodded at us, pleased at our progress. “I hope you all managed to find dates and dresses.” He said happily. “Oh no, that’s right!!!” Chun-Ja exclaimed, clasping her hands on her face. Chang-Su smiled happily, “remember to be on time and be ready to put on a beautiful performance. Dismissed then, see you all tomorrow at 5 PM.” He said. We bowed and filed out of the room, chattering and gossiping. My cellphone rung, as I was wondering if I should go out to a mall.

“Come by the office around 7 PM tonight. ~Chang-Su”

I frowned in confusion and wondered what he wanted. Dae was on her phone, walking in and out of the lounge, asking her father to send a dress by noon the next day. Chun-Ja was doing some needlework on a gown of grey tone, she had brought from home. For some reason, Yeun-Ja was locked in her room; ever since we had returned from dinner. Time seemed to be moving so slow, as I waited for it to reach 7 PM. My eyes kept darting up to the clock, the doorbell run, Soon-Yi ran over to the doors and pulled open the double doors. Someone held out a box to her; she bowed and took it carefully, and closed the doors. Running over to me, she squealed happily like a child. “My Eomma sent this for me. Come take a look.” She said breathlessly and opened the lid. Revealing a beautiful red ruffled lolita dress, which looked amazingly cute. “It’ll look perfect on you.” I said happily. Chun-Ja stood up, holding her dress up, “ah it’s all fixed!” She cheered. It was a charcoal grey halter dress. “I wore this at my high school graduation ceremony.” She explained.

Soon-Yi and I nodded at her words and smiled happily. The clock struck 6:45 PM, I stood up slowly, “I have to go out for a moment, excuse me.” I said and hurried out the door. Chang-Su stared at the long box on his desk, I made my way down the hall and knocked on the door. “Come in.” He called. I pushed open the door and stared at him, “you called me here?” I asked calmly. I wanted to maintain a good teacher and student bond with him, even though it was hard to try and not run into his arms. He walked over to me, “sad because you have no dress?” He teased. I scolded at him, “I am not upset. I would have gotten one, if I hadn’t had a meeting with you tonight.” I said firmly. Chang-Su smirked, “go open the box.” He informed. I was confused, I was curious at what he had planned, “me?” I asked. He nodded encouragingly in silence, I bit my lip and lifted the lid off, revealing a sky blue colored, classic elegant lolita dress. My jaw dropped in awe at the beautiful dress, “who’s is it?” I asked breathlessly. He wrapped his arms around me from behind; his head rested on my shoulder. “For you–I want you to wear it tomorrow. No matter what happens, I want you to understand me.” He said calmly.

I shook my head frantically, “this is too valuable–I can’t accept this. I’ll just wear–” I was cut off, as he forced me to face him. I stared at him surprised, he stared back at me, “you’re my girlfriend, don’t think you can back away.” He teased. I couldn’t fight it off anymore, I loved this man, I didn’t want to fight it anymore, I decided to be selfish once more, I wanted this man; he was everything to me. I won’t hide it anymore, he stared down at me with eyes full of happiness. “Do you love me, Chang-Su?” I asked averting my gaze. Chang-Su smiled at me gently, he raised a hand and turned my head to face him. “Yes, I love you, Sakuya Suzuki, for this lifetime and the next.” He said and leaned towards me. I stared downwards, looking flustered, he kissed me on the forehead lightly. He pulled me into a tight hug, I rested my head on  his chest peacefully. “You better go back, it’s getting late, see you tomorrow night.” He said softly. I pulled away and picked up the box, walking out of the office, he grabbed my arm, I stared back at him questionably. “Good Night.” He said after a moment.

My eyes could tell he was worried about the ball, even more worried about the coming of his father. “Do your best, I trust you forever.” I said giving a hopeful smile. Chang-Su’s eyes widened, “you trust me?” He asked. He didn’t seem to understand, how to trust the one he loved, I walked over to him and stroked his cheek. “Mm, with all my heart.” I said determinedly. Chang-Su grabbed my hand, I stared at him with an encouraging expression, “I trust you as well.” He said. I blushed at his words, “Chang-Su.” I muttered. He grinned and pushed me towards the door, “now, go and get some sleep or you’ll have panda eyes.” He teased. I pouted in anger, “Now look here!! I’ll see who has the panda eyes tomorrow!” I snapped. He smiled and closed the door quietly; I walked back to the dorms in joy.

The next day, four black cars turned onto the street and pulled up to the campus gates. The principal, assistant director, chancellor and teacher stood waiting. Doors opened, middle aged people came out of the cars. “Annyeonghaseyo, its a pleasure to have your audiences here.” Voices chimed in unison. Three middle aged men and two women stared at them in silence. From the right was Song Gyong-Si, Min Bong-Hwa (Yeun-Ja’s father), the center man was Kim Jae (father of Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa), then came Han Jae (mother of Soon-Yi) and Yun Ok-Sun (mother of Chun-Ja). “Chang-Su, Jae-Hwa.” Jae addressed. Chang-Su and Jae-Hwa walked over to their father, “Abba.” They addressed in respect. “It’s so good to see the both of you, look at how much you’ve both grown.” Jae mused. Hae walked over to them, “Chang-Su,  how is Soon-Yi? Is she well?” The woman asked. Chang-Su bowed to her, “Madam Han, Soon-Yi is fine, she should still be sleeping. You’ll see your daughter tonight.” He informed and bowed in respect. Hae nodded in satisfaction and smiled happily, Hei walked over to her father happily. “Hei, how are you and your sister?” He asked. “Dae is fine, don’t worry dear Abba, you’ll see her tonight.” She promised.

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